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2 questions about 2 diffrent things

so last night i did apost about how my SO does not stick by me doing a natural birth
well im still gonna do it but i was wondering how much a doula cost
my child birth teacher is one and she said she could gave me a big discount
so i wanted to know the normal going rate

plus my man gets back from iraq soon and we were talking
he said he might not be here when i have the baby
cuz he has to see his family in cali and i am fine with that
its just he has know my due date for 33 weeks now
and i just gets on my nerves that he choose that time to see them
does that make me sound like a bad person???

Answer Question

Asked by 19bubbles91 at 11:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 5 (68 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • idk how much a doula is sorry :(

    BUT no it doesnt make you a bad person i dont think . i ust posted the same type of question. my SO goes to mexico monthly for his braces and the time he lives again is in about 3 weeks or so... and i asked if im selfish for wanting him to not go and everyone said im overreacting and i should just let him go.. ill be 38 weeks.. i think he can wait a little bit.

    anyway sorry lol but no i do not think that makes you a bad person at all. i want my So to be there to see his daughter for the first time and for emotional support for me its understandable and natural.

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 11:28 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • #1 you will most definitely want a doula or your mom or someone with you. Most men are pretty useless once the first contraction hits HOWEVER he NEEDS to be there. H ewill most definitely regret missing the birth of his child. And you will most definitely resent him no matter what your head is trying to tell your heart right now you want him there and he NEEDS to bet there

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 11:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • no that does not make you a bad person, you want him ther next to you when you have your baby and when your baby is born. I think you should really talk to him, why doesnt he want you to have a natural birth? You should really find out what going on and let him know that its not fair to take it out on the baby because that'll be the first day of your babys life. He should be there. Maybe the both of you can take a trip together with the baby to cali to see his family. I hope all goes well.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 11:38 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • About a doula, go to they might have info for you.
    About your SO.... I am sorry. Men tend to have different reactions to pregnancy and birth and labor than what we would want. communication is the best thing... tell him how you feel and be open to what he feels.

    Answer by reflect1light at 11:43 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • i dont know about the doula but i would be REALLY pissed off with the hubby on choosing to see his family..he can see them at any time. this is a once in a lifetime experience that doesnt happen every day..i would argue with him on it. you're not being selfish and dont let his family try to tell you you are either.

    Answer by tnteaton at 11:43 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Try contacting
    They provide doula's free of charge to women who's men are deployed during the birth.

    Answer by squish at 1:28 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I dont know about the dula, but if I remember right fromy our other posts, your SO is not the babys father. So maybe this is how he is gonna be. I dont want tp ut you down or make you feel bad but maybe he isnt 100% there for you and the baby? Its hard to say with out know all the details. I hope if hesnt not gonna man up and be around like he has made you think, that you find out sooner than later! Good luck!

    Answer by evansmom03 at 5:34 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • personally i feel even if he isn't the real father that he chose to be with you and that he has become that role and should be there you don't need someone like that being around you and your baby just walking away when things don't have to do with him personally my first isnt my fiances but you wouldn't know that with out me having to tell you they act like father and daughter and she tells you that she is his daughter granted she don't call him daddy at this point but i think she will in her own time if a man can't accept you for the hole package don't be with i would deffinitly have a long talk with him about it

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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