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I need advice. I have a 10 yr. old daughter who is very lazy.

She will not do anything that is ask of her at home, and at school she just does what she wants to. She has proven to us and teachers that she can do the work. She just seems to be to lazy to do it. PLEASE,PLEASE help her future is at stake.

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Fancy4970aol

Asked by Fancy4970aol at 10:03 AM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • I am dealing with this with my 7 yo, and I am at a loss too. I have threatened to take things away (toys, priveledges), I have offered rewards, had long talks, nothing seems to work. I hope to see some good answers.
    Jazak

    Answer by Jazak at 10:06 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • take away the cell phone the computer the tv the mp3 players the radio..strip her room to the baisics of a bed sheets pillow and blanket and a light...tell her that if she insists on bein lazy to do it away from you in her room with only her school work to do....it worked when i was a pre teen and if she sneeks out at night or during the day lock her butt out and leave her pillow and blanket on the porch with a note stating " you choose to not listen and sneek out this is where you can stay the night love you" it should get her attention...

    and if all else fails BORDING SCHOOL with nuns hahaha
    connorsmom22607

    Answer by connorsmom22607 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • If she is offered allowance revoke it. offer alternatives.. possibly make a "star chart" when she does something put a star on a board (poster board works nicely) and when she has so many stars offer a reward possibly a trip to the mall for a new pair of earrings, or a special outing just you and her maybe go to get pizza. you need to have a talk with her first about becoming a preteen and what responsibilites she has and which things she is obligated to do. If her grades are lacking then i would suggest grounding her no phone, no friends, no outings, no video games or t.v.. it may be harsh but if may be the thing to turn her around. also ask her about her goals.. what she wants to accomplish in life, have her make a list of what she thinks she needs to obtain those goals. short term/long term.
    fatima_reed23

    Answer by fatima_reed23 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I agree with the above answers. See if with holding meal helps. Don't starve her, just tell her no meal tell you do the task I told you to do.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Try talking to her about it, tell her that she is getting older and needs to start learning about resposibilities. Explain to her that if she wants to go to college she has to have good grades and good conduct in school. Tell her that she has a chance to be something great if she does good and not work at mcdonalds the rest of her life.
    killerbunny2008

    Answer by killerbunny2008 at 12:53 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Anything that matters to her must be tied consistently to her responsibilities at school and at home. However, make this enjoyable as well. Let her earn rewards for doing well too. When any of us work well and hard, we enjoy the rewards. Kids do too!
    TeaAnderson

    Answer by TeaAnderson at 2:18 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I have a thirteen year old none of the above has worked everyone keeps telling me keep on doing as you are she will eventually come out of it.
    Tina91664

    Answer by Tina91664 at 11:58 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I think it is the age, my son is similar at age 11. I think that there are some responsibilities that are just their jobs, period. We can reward good behavior and frown on bad. Tell her what you expect and what the rewards will be if she completes her jobs. Tell her it is your job to go to work and make the money, and it is her job to go to school, complete her work and her 3-5 chores weekly. Decide on a reward system, remember it doesn't have to be monetary. But, make sure there are NO REWARDS unless she pulls her own weight.
    Scimecamommy

    Answer by Scimecamommy at 2:30 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • If you consider all the things you do for her extra you explain to her.My job is to feed,clothe,and shelter you.Anything I do above that such as dvd game rentals,allowances,icecreams,snacks,
    shopping trips I do because I love you and want to make your child hood full and happy.I expect you to show you are a vital part of this family and care enough to pitch in without being told.Let her start with doing her own laundry.Show her that things are priveledges you don't have to do and that you will not reward laziness or be taken for granted as a walking pocket book and personal mais service when she is capable of doing her part.It will help her in the long run.Tough love in action speaks louder than words.
    summerray5

    Answer by summerray5 at 7:20 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • She's probably bored
    CharmaineL

    Answer by CharmaineL at 10:33 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

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