Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I make sure I get custody?

My bf and I were together 4 months when i got pregnant. I wanted to break up with him b4 but then I found out. I decided to stay and try to work it out. Our daughter is now 4 months old and I am completely misearble. I live with my daughter and my mother, while he lives at home with his parents. He is a good dad. I am afraid when I break it off he will try and fight me for custody. We both have great jobs. My mother watches our daughter while I am at work and my fiance comes over every weekend and every wednesday to spend time with our daughter. I live in PA. What would the chances of him winning custody of our daugher if he took me to court? That is the only reason that I have not broke off our relationship. I would die if he took our daughter away. I do not want to keep him from her. I wanted to write up an agreement of every other weekend and every wednesday. Is that too much? Too little? What advice does anyone have?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I'd talk to him about it and say just what you've said to us and tell him that it would be so much easier to just formalize it to ensure his rights. Are you breast or bottle feeding? That makes a huge difference to the courts, but with you two already living in seperate homes I'd think you're a shoe in for full custody unless you're not a good Mom (which it sounds like you are a good one).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:09 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I think your being very reasonable and the courts will agree! Legally he only has to see the baby less than that!! The courts will commend you for being so giving to him! A judge will not take a child from her mother unless the mother is a drug user, alchoholic, or abusive! If you can prove you are none of those then girl you have nothing to worry about!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Go file for temporary custody!! That establishes that you have custody. Then go from there!

    Answer by Smcclellan7080 at 11:11 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • 1) Get something in writing immediately. If you don't, he can basically legally kidnap her.

    2) Chances of him getting custody are slim if you have a clean criminal background, can pass a drug test, and have never had CPS involved in your house.

    Answer by amandae21 at 12:15 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Plant drugs on him, call the cops, and then file for emergency custody while he's in jail

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • every other weekend and one night a week is a pretty standard agreement, you should have no problem getting a judge to agree to that. If he wants to fight you for full custody then get a lawyer because these things can get nasty and turn into he said/she said.

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • i would put in writing that he can see her when ever he would like with in reason, i mean no last minute phone calls to take her set plans in advance etc. my kids father and i were never married and neither of us filed for custody and i allow him to see them when ever he would like (which with him is never but oh well his loss) anyhow i wouldnt limit his time one it shows you arent rying to keep him from her and you are more then willing to let him see her when ever he wants the courts arent likely to take her away period because you have had her since she was born and he hasnt lived there and if he always comes to her on the weekends then he doesnt even have her by himself the courts will look at that

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 2:30 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I odnt see the big deal thats all he sees her now as it is so whats the big deal if its court ordered. Plus you both sound like good people and most states favor the mother anyways unless he can prove you unfit they cant take her.

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.