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Anyone have issue deciding if Divorce would be best? I have one child that asks if we can please leave, I don't know what to do.

Spouse gets mad if kids don't have good practices and will verbally abuse them, then 30 minutes later he will make up to them and everything will be fine. I have 3 boys 15, 13, and 6 months. My husband will say he is not putting up with them acting this way and that it is a discipline thing. Everytime something happens he will holler he wants a divorce and then like a said 1/2 hr later everything is fine. I think he may be Bipolar. I am not sure how to talk to him or what to do, any suggestions? I do love him but I think he has issues. I don't want my 6 month old to grow up with things like they are but don't know how to talk to my husband about it. Suggestions ? Anyone been in similar situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • My dad was very similar to what you are describing, and from the time I was 12 I begged my mom for us to leave, but she never did until I was 15, and I hated her for it. If you think you are staying for the kids, you aren't. It is NOT in their best interest to be in that environment, and you need to think about them.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:15 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • If your children want to leave, and you don't make any attempt to get a handle on the situation, they are going to resent you for it. I think in this situation, you may want to really consider getting divorced, or at least separating. I totally agree with Carolyn, your children are suffering here and you staying isn't doing them any good.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • tell hubby next time he says he wants a divorce he better mean it. and stick tto it when he says he wants a divorce tell him fine leave and I will call a lawyer.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 12:31 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Next time he says he wants a divorce just leave, its pretty bad when your child asks if you guys can just leave
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • if your staying for your kids its a selfish thing becuz if they dont wana be there anymore then you do they will just resent you later in life. Its best to get a handle on it now and sit down and talk to him or maybe think about seperating for a while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • My dh is the same way.He has been going to different medical specialist.This is starting to help.If he'll seek him have him try.Your children need better.My dh is now on medications it has really helped.It was our last options.Counseling may help also.In the other aspect you cannot let your children run your marriage either.Try family counseling to get to the source of the problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Children are pretty honest about their feelings...good, bad or indifferent. Listen to your children. They often see things you don't see or don't WANT to see.

    Call your husband's divorce "bluff." Tell him the next time he goes off on you or the kids, you just hired a divorce lawyer. When he asks "why," tell him you thought that's what he wanted! When he says he was just "venting" tell him to "vent" to a therapist next time, and not to you and the kids!!!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 12:51 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • My first question is are the two older boys his? If not I'd be out of there yesterday. Never in a million years would anyone get away with treating my children like that. Nevermind a man that isn't their father.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 12:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • My ex is bipolar. I debated for a long time before finally leaving. My daughter now 13 asked me to leave a while before i did it. I regret now not leaving when she asked me to. I have been seperated from him since nov 07 and officially divorced since July 08. Its the best decision i ever made. I am happier and the kids are happier. You don't realize how much someone like that brings you down until your out of the relationship. Hope this helps and if you wanna talk, just message me. Good Luck!
    momofthree74

    Answer by momofthree74 at 1:45 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • i would tell him he gets tested for bi-polar or i walk you know its bad when your child is asking if you guys can leave
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 2:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

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