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My SO is feeling rejected by our daughter during night time feedings (formula when I'm asleep)....

Reason being, she won't take a bottle from him, and when he tries to comfort her, she screams and things only seem to get worse....she cries a little when he hands her to me, but eventually she stops crying...I don't really know if it is an attachment thing, and I don't know how to get her to allow her father to feed much less comfort her.....If there is any advice on this situation, it would me much appreciated...thanks...

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Asked by f249571 at 2:18 PM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • If she's breastfeed all day, then I'm sure it's just that she's use to you when she gets fed and that's what she wants now. Babies are very much creatures of comfort and routine. Maybe if you expressed some breast milk and you SO feed her during waking hours with you close by or even formula if your having trouble pumping enough milk, that will help some. But I'm sure it's just a phase. My DD went thru a phase where she didn't want anything to do with her dad. It hurt him while it lasted but she got over it. Also he might be a bit uptight when he's holding and it probably gets worse when she starts getting upset and she's feeling that.

    Answer by jenlenr at 2:26 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Kind of odd that he feels the need to feed her. Breast milk comes from mama, not mama and daddy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • We are currently doing both formula and breast milk....hence scheduling issues.......

    Answer by f249571 at 2:45 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • odd to feel the need to feed his own daughter? are you kidding? Besides I say good for him trying to help. She is doing both that's why he is feeding. I would have him try and do it during the day she will eventually get the hang of it that daddy can too ;)

    Answer by Willywonka06 at 3:01 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • That's great he wants to help you. My daughter had to be supplemented with formula for a very short time, but after being used to breast milk I don't think she liked the taste of it as much. Granted, this was only a few days. It gave her a stomach ache, too, and she cried a lot. Have you considered pumping breast milk for you SO to feed her at night? It took my little one a while to get used to the bottle. She definitely still prefers breast at 6 months. Just a thought.

    Answer by MommyJanelle at 3:27 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • It might be more an issue of her not liking the bottle or the formula, not Daddy.

    Does he hold her and spend time with her when she's awake and the rest of your AREN'T sleeping? Maybe you need to start with some simple bonding there. Have him sit on the couch and hold her while you're sitting RIGHT next tto them. She can still see you, and maybe even think it's still you holding her. Eventually, she'll be more comfortable.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:54 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I'd be more worried that your baby is feeling rejected by you because she is not being breastfed at night. If you want him to bottle feed her during the night, start out slowly. Have him give her a bottle during the day. Then one or two feedings at night and then gradually increase the bottle feedings. Maybe if you work up to it, she will adjust better.

    Answer by LaurLaur623 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

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