My grand-daughter, who we are raising, has been taught in school that she is in charge of her life and she has the power to do as she pleases. We have always told them that it's their choice whether they get good concequences or bad ones, whether natural or ones we have agreed on. Her grades have dropped from A&B's to C&D's, sticking to our program she has lost everything just about, no parties, nothing extra. We have people telling us we are unfair to her. Help!Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)
Answer by Tricia19 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 9, 2009
Answer by Kat122 at 5:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2009
Answer by mom2priceboys at 6:16 AM on Jan. 10, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Jan. 10, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Jan. 10, 2009
Without knowing what the actual consequences are that are given it is impossible to know whether or not you are truly being unfair. One thing that sticks out to me is that you are her grandparents. At this age, no matter how long you have been raising her, grief and loss over not being parented by her mother and father often becomes an issue. I have seen a lot of children this age/stage who are hurt, confused, angry (no matter how much or little they know of the circumstances), and frustrated about their birthparents. Acting out, poor grades, talking back, defiance..all those things could also be the sign of depression. She may not even know why she is doing those things or who she really is upset at. Find a good counselor. Oh, and the school is right. She is in charge of her thoughts, feelings, and actions. But you are in charge of her care and safety. She needs that pointed out to her.
Answer by frogdawg at 11:51 AM on Jan. 10, 2009
Answer by Central_IL_Mom at 6:15 PM on Jan. 10, 2009
Answer by summerray5 at 7:28 PM on Jan. 10, 2009
Answer by mama_k228 at 1:16 AM on Jan. 11, 2009
Frogdawg is right..I was raised by my g-parents,Â & as a tweenÂ I became defiantÂ & rebellious. I was angry bcuz myÂ parents were not in my life. I took it out on my g-p's until they couldn't take it anymoreÂ & they sent me away. That only caused MORE problems, because I saw that as proof that I was unloveable. My own parents,Â & now my g-p's, threw me away. some of my misbehavior was a test to see if my grandparents would love me no matter what. This may be what's happening here.. try constant reassurance that no matter what,Â she isÂ loved & will never be sent away. Kids have huge fears of abandonment, especially if they've been abandoned by theirÂ parents. It makes them think "what's wrong with me? Why can't anyone love me?"
Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jan. 11, 2009
Next question overall
I have a question about tires.....yes this relates to a 3 year old...????....
Featured Posts in All Groups