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thinking about placing my son for adoption

Im a single mom (21) and my son is now 20 months, I love him to death, and its rough to picture him not in my life, but i cant seem to keep a job cause he gets sick and i have to be off on weekend and i cant work after 5 cause no one to watch him, his father has never been around and i cant find him, i feel so horrible cause i cant take care of him the way i want to, and i cant stop crying, ive tried asking family and friends for help but they are all to busy i dont know what to do ...... please help

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Jan. 9, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (37)
  • dont give up sweetie its not easy being a single mom but you have to stay positive for your little boy he needs you more then anything. You would never forgive yourself if you gave him up. Look into assistence if you need it im sure there are programs that can help you.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:27 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I am so sorry you are going through this...have you tried any programs that might be available to you in the area where you live? Or is there any way you could work from home...maybe babysit so you could be with your some and have an income? If you lived close enough to me I'd help watch your baby! If you need a shoulder, you can message me.

    Answer by kamsmw at 6:29 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • There is a group I would recommend you look into here on CafeMom, "Pregnant & Considering Options". I know you're not currently pregnant but one of the members there faced exactly what you are up against and wrote a book about it. She is generous with all of what she learned and many of the other moms there also know how to find resources that you might not even be aware of.

    Often, when the primary reason for considering adoption is due to financial concerns moms find that just a few months or years after relinquishment that their financial situations are far improved. It is not a fun place to be to realize that you have made a permanent decision for what was a temporary situation. Please feel free to pm me if you wish - I am both an adult adoptee and birth mom in reunion the daughter I gave up.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 6:57 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I would vote against it. You are already attached to him. ( Not to say pregnant woman don't get attached). But you will get in a better place if you work on it and don't give up and you will regret it. There has to be programs around where you live to help you. It sounds like your a bit overwhelmed. Even us woman who are married and in a good place finacially get overwhelmed at mothering.

    Contact your local health and welfare department and explain your situation to them. There has to be some help for you. Good Luck!

    Answer by my4lads at 7:20 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I placed my child with complete strangers when I was 19. That was over thirty years ago. Adoption hasn't changed much in thirty years.
    My only regret was that I didn't fight hard enough to keep my child. I never forgot my child. When I was reunited with my daughter, she was a complete stranger to me.
    Educate yourself about adoption before you make any PERMANENTdecisions. Please take PortAngeles1969's advice. Check out "Pregnant & Considering Options".

    Answer by Foundatlast at 7:27 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Have you tried to call around for help? financially? or vouchers to help with daycare? child support? You would think that your state would have some kind of programs to offer. I wish I could help you...You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Is anyone else concerned about the note of desperation this question has? She needs some serious help and fast.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • No shit anon@759!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Yes, this is concerning to me. I have known many friends who have struggled as single parents. Please don't give up on yourself or your child. As others have stated, things change from day, to week, to month, to year. You will find the strength to carry on. Please don't make a decision out of despairation that you may regret later. Perhaps you can contact someone at your church if you attend. If not, maybe you can find a church and someone there can help you!

    Answer by AtlantaSheryl at 10:28 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I am really sorry about the situation you are in. If you are interested I have a friend who is hoping to adopt a little boy.


    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:35 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

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