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My son was born 6 days before my 20th birthday. I was living with my boyfriend for a few months and have been on birth control since I was 16. Somehow, I got pregnant but we weren't that worried because we have decent paying jobs and my boyfriend's grandfather said we could stay with him so we could save even more money and move out on our own. I was totally unprepared for the way older moms would react to us! When I take my son in for a doctor's appointment, they practically shun me! You would not believe the number of times I have watched their eyes shoot to my left ring finger to see if I'm married! My son is always dressed and clean. He's a normal 9 month old but these women act like I have no idea of what I'm doing, just because I'm young! And they treat my now-husband even worse!


Asked by mambearwhitt4 at 10:51 PM on Jan. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (31)
  • I don't look at womens ring fingers. I guess I don't look at people that long enough to try to determine much about them. I'm too busy for that. I look at hair, LOL. Now if your hair is a mess or needs a new cut.......ROFLOL

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 11:45 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Screw them

    Answer by koolest_mom_of4 at 10:52 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I had the same reaction. I also look alot younger so it makes it even more difficult. Its more horrible going to an ob/gyn. You should see the looks I

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Its just women who have nothing better to do than judge other women as long as your doing whats right for you and your kiddo just blow them off they're idiots

    Answer by koolest_mom_of4 at 10:54 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I am sorry that they are like that.I had my first at 19 and at the time I also had my stepdaughter who was 8 at the time(yes my fiance is older than me-please no bashing).I got that alot to but I never let it bother me.I love my kids and I will never know everything but I know I am a good mom to and for my kids.Dont let them bother you sweetie!:)

    Answer by tomsbrandi at 10:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Yeah people are really dumb. I have been married for 3 years, but since I had my son, I don't wear my ring that much. Just because I'm always washing dishes and what not and when I was pregnant my finger swelled so it didn't fit. So how do people know you aren't married? Don't let it get to you though, your a good mom, your son is happy and that is all that matters. So hold your head high and look down on them for being so miserable, that they have to treat you poorly so they feel better. 


    Answer by teddybear515 at 10:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I've actually had women tell me that my husband is going to leave me because we're so young! Lol. The response they got was, "Well, she's younger, so I'll be with her longer then your husband will be you, you old cow!." Lol. Not that I condone rudeness or anything, but desperate times call for drastic measures!

    Answer by mambearwhitt4 at 10:55 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Sweety, I've been married 7 years, have 4 kids, all after I got married, and I don't wear my ring, and I'm 33. Women always glance at my finger too. Its not you. Its women. They like to think they are better then everyone else.

    Answer by my4lads at 10:56 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I'm sorry that you have had this experience, but what is your question? Although I am 25 I can relate to what you are going through, because I look about 17. I'm married but I hardly ever wear my ring. I get looks and some pretty rude comments. One lady actually said to me " What did your mother say about you having a baby in high school?" All I could say was " well if I were still in high school, I imagine she'd be pretty upset" and I walked away. She probably just thought I meant I had dropped out. Who really cares what other people think? You and your husband both know that your child is well taken care of, so just ignore the old biddies.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 10:57 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • well try to remember that just cause they are "older" moms doesnt mean that they are great moms. You may be young but you may also be a way better mom than a lot of women. Dont worry about what they have to think cause in the end the only one that truely matters is your child...screw everyone else

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 10:58 PM on Jan. 9, 2009