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what is going on?

So my bf just got a new job in a restaurant...ive worked in a restaurant pre-preg and was never home later than like11. my cousin is a bartender and is also home by 11. well anyway he bartends a little during the week but it seems like he doesnt want to come home. like the kitchen closes at i think 10 maybe 11 and its 12 and he still isnt home, hasnyt even called to say hes leaving or nothing. this happens all the time and some days he starts at 10 am and still doesnt call to say he is done till like 11 ro 12. does it sound like hes up tosomething?? sometimes i feel he is sometimes i feel hes not i dont know...can you help a sister out lol


Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • A lot of people don't realzie that after you close a store or place of business, then you get the joy of doing clean up. And some people like to sit and unwind a little bit after such a crazy day/night of work and being on your feet (I almost always stayed after my shift to let my feet get some feeling back in them and to talk about some of the goofy stuff that went on that day, or just catch up with life outside of work with coworkers.
    Sneaky usually isn't a good thing, but one night, ask a friend to watch the baby and at the appointed time he "gets off of work" wait just a little while and pop in there and say you thought you could spend some time with him. You should see at that point what it is that he's doing and chances are it's NOT one of the waitresses.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:51 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • idk, my SO works at a restaurant as a cook and on Friday nights and his usual time home is 12 1230.

    Answer by lilbit837 at 12:13 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Maybe...I'd find out the actual times of the kitchen and bar, then get concerned.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 12:19 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I couldnt tell ya cause i dont know how the resturant deal works or the hours they keep or anything but.... all you can do is ask him if there is something going on!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • DON'T ask him. IF he is doing something and you ask him that will only make him try harder to hide it so don't let him know that you are suspicious of him.
    I think the best thing to do is borrow a friend or family member's car and drive down there one night and wait outside in a concealed spot and watch to see when he leaves and where he is going when he leaves. Follow him if you must. You can also see if he is with someone when he leaves.
    If you have a suspicion do something about it. Just DON'T let him know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • wait like 30 mins after the resturant is closed block your # call and ask for him if he is gone already u no something is up if not try a lil later on another night

    Answer by theycallmemomie at 12:26 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • so anon you think the best thing to do is investigate it lol. like if i know the kitchen closes at 10 go around 10:30 see if the car is still there then wait and follow him. i have thought about it but i dont really wanna take my dd out that late ya know... maybe i could have a friend sit here with her but then if he does come straight home im screwed! how could i get around him beating me home and like have an excuse as to where i was or why my friend was here with not very good at the whole being sneaky thing! help me out

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • tell him that you worry and out of courtesy your would appreciate him calling to let you know if he will be home later than 11:00.  If this is a big deal for him maybe you should go out without telling him and see how he likes it.


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:40 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Ok. Don't staulk your boyfriend, it's weird and creepy and guaranteed to end the relationship pretty quickly.
    Many restaurants have regular patrons that stay after normal hours and visit. A good many of these patrons tip very well and it is not wise to make them not like you. Also, if you aren't good at cleaning as you go or are kind of lazy about it, it can take an hour or so to do all your work.

    Get a baby sitter and pop down there for a drink and a snack one night. Maybe bring him a nice coffee drink or something and get a feel for the place. Make yourself feel better

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:40 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • i agree with lovinangels..
    get a babysitter then just have a night out with some friends
    OR visit him only once,maybe go out to eat with your kids at the restaurant
    while leaving you can ask what time does he get off...

    Answer by misty91 at 4:19 AM on Jan. 10, 2009