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Looking for a book...

Things between hubby and I are pretty great, but they're definitely a little more strained since our son arrived. We still don't fight or anything, but I think we'd both like things to be better, we just aren't sure how.

I'd like to get a self-help book on this, but I'm not sure how to even START looking...I hate self-help stuff! Something more like a workbook, maybe with different issues and feelings we could discuss. We did some of this with our premarital counseling, but I'd like more! Hubby is cool with the idea, he wants to keep things fabulous, too.

Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by KatieCrandall at 12:30 AM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • need a bit more info. religious based, if so which one? you said you wanted a feelings-based one, that's a start. if you still have contact with your pre marriage counselor, they may be of assistance. good luck sweetie!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. It's a pretty good one. You can also go to your local library and browse throught he self help section. Even if you want to buy your own, that would give you an idea of what you're looking for. And of corse ther's always google. : )

    I hope you and DH are able to work things out. It's definately a good start that you're BOTH admitting that you need help and you're BOTH working on it! That's more than what some people have. Best of luck to you!!!

    Answer by renea20 at 1:08 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Things aren't even remotely bad, we just want to prevent it from getting that way. His parents had a nasty divorce, and my parents had each been through a divorce before they found us. We knew when we got together that marriage wouldn't be easy, but have been pleasantly surprised thus far...we just want to stay that way and are looking for ways to open up the lines of communication. Since being pregnant and having our son, we've kinda lost that part of our relationship.

    We're Catholic, but religion doesn't need to be a factor in the book we're looking for. Our counselor was our priest, and everything we did was based on a test we took and how we responded.

    I've been looking for an excuse to check out the new library up here, maybe I'll start by looking through their self-help stuff...thanks!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 1:15 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Since you're going to the library anyway, ask the librarian. You'd be surprised how glad they are to help. Librarians are actually quite knowldgeable and are (for the most part) very helpful and friendly. They may be able to steer you in the right direction and even make some recommendations for you!

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 2:48 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • my hubby and i have been seeing a marriage counselor for about a month. he recommended the website and books by john gottman. check it out!


    Answer by nvedwards at 3:38 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • doctor phil's book, putting family first, is pretty good at giving ideas for a stronger family and a stronger relationship.

    Answer by MsMESSx2 at 9:07 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • my experience is if its not broken, don't fix it! why do you need a book to discuss your feelings?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • The Five Languages of Love by Dr Gary Chapman. Nothing has to be broken (yet) to make your marriage stronger and better!! This is the person you've committed to for the rest of your life...I think it's wonderful you both are willing to do the work a great marriage takes. Good luck!!

    Answer by Fourbymom at 10:15 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree, The five love languages is a great start.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura is a great one...I had picked it up for myself, and Dh started reading it. Within 2 chapters, he had stopped watching porn and apologized to me for it telling me it was "essentially cheating on me" and that he wasn't going to cheat on me anymore (the porn, not with another woman).

    Highly recommended.

    Answer by homemakin_momma at 10:53 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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