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How can i tell them?

On the 6th my cousin jenn passed away, we were around the same age,

we were best friends, during teen years we were like sisters,we were close then, but still new each others hearts
she died from a herion overdose they thought she has stopped, and i didnt go around her since she got out of prison so i didnt know and didnt talk to her for around 5 months and then she is gone,
I just had a baby the 29th, and i am feeling the emotions very hard, i cannot attend the funeral and i cannot sleep i dont want to go but everyone is saying" you got to"
i dont understand why i would have to, she knew how i was we never talked about our deaths when we growing up, we talked about everything else, but not that.
i feel sick i have made myself sick about it, i dont want to see her in the coffin i just cannot bare can i tell them i cannot go?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 AM on Jan. 10, 2009 in

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • It is a personal decision and it doesn't mean you are a bad person because you don't go.

    You will remember her for who she was before she died, heroin or not. You have to grieve her on your own and not be forced to go. I lost a very close friend to murder and didn't attend his funeral. I felt bad but I just couldn't go. There is no reason why you can't feel comfortable with the decision to not go. It's your choice.

    Go with your husband for a ride and maybe a nice lunch somewhere. Have a quiet day and quietly mourn your cousin in your own way. You can visit her grave when you are ready. Do not let anyone bully you into going or make you feel guilty They are mourning her and are most likely going through the anger stage and you not attending is a reason for them to be angry.
    Peace and healing to you. I am sorry for your loss.


    Answer by pamkay414 at 11:46 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • By not going...this is a personal decision for you and you alone to make.

    Answer by megmckn at 4:22 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • It is almost as if their trying to guilt me into attending...

    My DH is very angry...and wants to just take me away for for hours that day,....
    with no place to go but just to go...

    I am more than likely going to take him up on his offer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 AM on Jan. 10, 2009