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should i feel guilty?

my husband is no longer friends with his best friend. his best friend didn't like me bc i wouldn't just sit there and let him say insulting things about me to my face. he was always comparing me to hubby's ex, who also happened to be a friend of his. i think the real problem is his friend liked that my hubby was dating a girl that they all knew bc they could all hang out. i was from a different area and none of them realy knew me. his ex is a total fake, always pretending to be sexy and acts like she's in to sports and his friend would always tell me that i wasn't as good as her bc i wouldnt pretend to like football. it was so stupid. anyway, they're not friends bc his ex started some random crap with me and criticized my parenting and kept trying to get my hubby to "talk" to her again. i didnt really lashed out, i just asked her to go away.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • i went through something similar. While your husband may feel the loss of a friend, he probably does truly feel that his family is more important. My husbands friend and your husbands friend were toxic, he is bad for your relationship and with a new baby and being young you dont need anymore stress on your relationship. It's fine, you just have to roll with it.
    nicholeluvslucy

    Answer by nicholeluvslucy at 12:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • (cont) well, she twisted it into me trying to beat her up and all sorts of horrendous things that aren't true at all. well, my hubby's supposed best friend believed her and said that my hubby left them all behind for me. thats not true, i just had a complicated pregnancy and was on bed rest and my hubby had to take a second job, so he couldn't hang out as much. we were young and our baby wasn't planned and we were just trying to prepare. anyway, i feel really bad bc even though my hubby says he doesn't care and our family is more important i still feel like i took away an important part of his life. should i feel this way?

    oh, the "best friend" and his ex are now dating, btw.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Oh the two of you seriously don't need the drama. I have a 7mos old, I love my friends but I hardly have time for them. I'd rather stay home and cuddle with my family. If his friends are immature pains in the asses, I say good riddance.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:03 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Sounds like high school drama. Your a mother now so why get into all that. Seriously?! Your actually posting that some chic tried to get you to beat her up? Read your post again. It sounds like drama. And you need no part in it. In high school you date each others' friends, because it is a small pond and their is not a whole lot of selection, but later you swim in the big sea. Your husband is a spouse and a provider now. He sounds like the only one who is being mature. Get over not having a past with his friends, not liking sports, not hanging out...real parents don't have time for that shit. They are too busy creating family moments, new traditions, and caring for each other. You will now be making friends with other young moms and dads - mature people who are not concerned about hanging out, the next big game on television, partying, or who is banging who. So just move past this all and take your husband's lead.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • yeah, there's so much going on, i just can't believe that his friend would throw away a 7 year friendship because he didn't like me! i guess really it has a lot to do with wanting my friend out of the picture though, so he could date his ex. whatever, i think they both deserve each other, they're trashy as all hell, lol!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • frogdawg, you completely missed my point. i dont care that i don't have a past with his friends, i was just saying that i felt bad because my husband lost his best friend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I say good riddance to a "friend" like that! I would feel a little bad that your husband lost a friend, but he wasn't a good friend in the first place! Your husband does not need input from a man like that because he's not a real man! He would be giving your husband horrible advice so I would be thankful he's out of your lives.
    MamaCatCat

    Answer by MamaCatCat at 12:08 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • mamacatcat you're so right. when i was pregnant his "friend" and ex were actually trying to get him to make me take a paternity test after our son was born. i didnt have a problem with it, because it was definitely his baby, but they were always trying to put doubt in his mind. i really appreciate everyone' input on this because its just been getting on my nerves! they're always calling him and trying to start stuff!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Change you numbers, tell them that drama high days are long gone for you and hubby and be done with it. Your hubby doesn't mind that his friend isn't his friend anymore... he's over it, now it's your turn to let it go, it sounds like he has. I just don't understand why the friend made a point to tell you how great the other girl was and trying to break ya'll up if he wanted the girl for himself. I'd have been singing your praises hoping you stay together and are happy so I could have a chance with her if I was the friend. To each their own... let it go, you got the best end of the stick :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:27 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • his friend isn't the brightest crayon in the box, lisa ann. lol. thats probably why he was telling my hubby he shouldn't have let the other girl go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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