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How Should I React?

My son's father and I aren't together anymore. It was a mutual split and we've both started moving on with our lives. He now has a new girlfriend and he is constantly telling me about how wonderful she is with our son. He emails me pictures of her and my son at the park playing together and brags about all of the things they do together. I'm happy that he found someone that cares about our son and is good to him. But I haven't figured out if he keeps telling me all of this to show me I have nothing to worry about when he is with her or what. I can't help but feel like he is trying to rub it in my face so to say.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I was in your same situation awhile back when my daughter was out with her dad for 5 months he was dating a girl I HATE and it has nothing to do with him she is just a very mean person and has done alot of bad things to people.... but i was very supportive of the relationship anyhow!! So then he started telling me.... oh they get along soooo well they went and they did this and this and this and she actully let her do her hair and blah blah blah .... like you i was happy she was being good to our daughter but i felt like he was rubbing it in my face!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:45 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Maybe he wants to reassure you that your son is being taken care of and loved. You wouldn't believe how great a feeling that is. if you think he is rubbing it in your face, ask him, if not, I wouldn't worry about it. I would rather my children be cared for and loved than treated like crap. Maybe and hopefully he thinks of you 2 as good friends since you had a mutual split.Its so much better than hating people.

    Answer by Kat122 at 12:45 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Would you say your ex & you are on good terms? If yes, then I would hope that he is doing this to prove that your child is well cared for when not with you. But if there is resentment on his side, then yes, he just might be trying to make you jealous. I'm glad that you are mature enough to recognize that your child appears to be in good hands with this girlfriend. Have you spoken to your son about his visits with them? What has his reactions been?

    Answer by gardenersuzi at 12:47 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • He may be doing a little of both. In the end, just smile and say that is nice. You are giving him too much power over your thoughts and feelings. So be polite and say your glad your child had a good time. Leave it at that. If he is bragging and rubbing your nose in it then you are not giving him the satisfaction of reacting the way he wants you to. You are glad that your little guy is enjoying his time spent with his dad. But I would smile and tell him I like the photos and then ask if he could give me a few with Daddy and son for our son's memmory book. It would be nice to have pictures of him and dad together. Of course all said with a smile. Polite. But in a way that leaves him wondering what do you mean. What? Not a ton of pics with Daddy? Give that to chew on. Nicely.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:49 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I like frogdawq's answer but I have to admit it's a hard pill to swallow to pretend but I guess that's what you've got to do.

    I married last year and have a 5 yr old stepdaughter. Her mom wants nothing to do with me and the child can't even say my name around her or she gets "mad". When Grace, my step-daughter, talks to her on the phone she gets nervous if I'm talking in the background when he mom might hear me. Grace and I have a good relationship so it's a matter of Grace "pretending" to please her mom. My hubby really despises he's ex wife but I'm always so impressed with how respectful and calm he is with her for his daughter's sake.

    I personally would only think he has good intentions if you truly in your heart know this man that he wants to share this info with you for selfish reasons (he trusts you and you were together along time and he still can't separate) or he really wants to reassure you. .


    Answer by lookingahead at 1:03 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the one that said to thank him and ask while he's sending them, to send some of him and his son too.. it's possible that he's trying to reassure you, and I really hope that's what it is. I'd print the pictures or ask him for original prints to put in the memory book of him with son, her with your son and them with your son so when the child looks at the pictures later he can see he was/is lucky enough to have 3 people that really loved him. My Mom remained friends with my Dad long after they divorced and he was often seen at our table on Sunday's with his new wife and their 4 children. It's great when everyone can get along like that.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:37 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Wow I have never been in this situation so I have no advice good luck to you I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

    Answer by lapcounter at 1:47 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • You know it could be either way, but really and truly the only way to come out on top is to not let it phase you. As long as she isn't undermining your parenting or speaking bad of you to your child it's no big deal. Your child will always pick you the mommy over anyone.

    Answer by clueless1972 at 1:47 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree. Let's hope it is something that he feels will reassure you. Meanwhile, it is something you can't do anything about, and you are seeing that the little one is being well-taken care of.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:49 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • look at it as he is trying to make sure you know you have nothing to worry about when she is around your son, even if he means it another way suck it up and tell him you are so happy he has found some one that cares about him and your child so much, you say that is how you feel, and if he is trying to rub it in your face he'll give up when he sees it isnt bothering you

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 5:36 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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