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How can I break my 2 year old of telling me no all the time?

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Asked by bama_mama at 12:49 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • I read that toddlers are just learning to control their environment so they get power over it where they can.What I did was give ds choices,"do you want to drink milk from the green cup or the blue one?" that way he had a choice,felt that "control" and I still got him to drink the milk.Hope it helps,it did for the most part w/ds.Then there were hang in there mom.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:54 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I would ignore each time he says no. Remember why they call 2 years of age, "the terrible two's?" LOL While i'm ignoring the answer of "no" I would, tho, expect his physical response to be a positive. Also, to combat this phase, or at least to cope, I wouldn't ask things that you aren't really needing an answer to, so that he gets into the habit of being negative. Like don't ask "Do you want a bath?" LOL Just say "Ok, guys, bath time." Don't ask "Do want carrots for dinner?" Just serve them and let him choose whether he'l actually eat them or not. :) Hope this helps.

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 12:54 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Question: Does he actually understand what "no" means? There is a period of time when they know the word, but not the meaning....

    If you ask if he wants something specific to eat (which you know he really DOES want lol) and he says "no" then don't give it to him. He'll fuss and carry on. Tell him "you said no. If you DO want it you have to say "yes"." Work with him to say "yes".

    If you are ASKING him to do something and he says "no"...then you left yourself open for that one! They know the difference between being asked to do something and being told to do something. There is a difference between "will you put that away please?" and "Put that away please."


    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I am REALLY getting TIRED of the stupid character limitation!

    If you tell him to do something and he says "no" then put him in time out until he is ready to do what you told him to do. (this idea is from my son's psychologist and it's worked GREAT for my 2 year old!) Let him sit/stand in time out for a while and then ask him, "are you ready to put it away now?" If he says "no" then "well, you have to sit there a bit longer then" Give it a few seconds and ask him again...odds are, he'll go do it! lol (my 2 year old has a severe speech delay so inability to talk doesn't play into this one at all!)

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:05 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • What you do is ask less yes or no questions. What you do is give them a choice when you can. "Would you like PB and J or bologna today for lunch?" That gives him the control he craves and eliminates the "no". Which shirt do you want to wear? The red Elmo or the blue Transformers? Which toy do you want for your bath? Give him some small control when its feasible and he'll quit fighting for so much control when you need him to do what you need him to do.

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:44 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree with most of what you got here. Especially the part where 2 years are notorious for latching onto a word and saying it incessantly, even when they want what they are saying no to. And I know from personal experience sometimes autistic people like saying the same things over and over again, too. So you have a double-whammy there. Pick your battles. You need him to get dressed to go somewhere or to go to bed, enforce it . If the nonono chorus is about eating, tell him fine, he can eat next time food is offered, and put it away, or just later, if you are okay with that (some people aren't...I was. People bitched, but I raised good eaters in spite of myself.)

    Answer by roachiesmom at 2:15 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • To some extent you have to let it run it's course. If he is over using his "no" stop giving him options for a little while. If you tell him to do something & he says no, tell him no is not an option right now & physically (gently so it isn't so much of a fight) move him towards what he is supposed to be doing. I find it best to explain things to a toddler, even if they don't understand yet or don't listen. It shows you aren't just bossing him around & some day you will be saying it & he will get it.

    Answer by nysa00 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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