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i need help with my out of control 14 yr old. ranaway from home into drugs and alcohol and there is no one out there to help me. ive tried .. he doesnt go to school. he direspect authority figures.. i need help!!

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pamelaw36

Asked by pamelaw36 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (11)
  • Sounds like he needs to go to Boot Camp or Military School.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I was like that at 16/17 you could go two diffrent ways with this situation.

    1) You could try talking to him see if there are some things you could comprimise on.

    2) You could try to get the cops involved, I know it sounds really messed up to say but if he's that out of control you could get him in to some kind of program or talk to the police about getting him on some kind of probation where they would test him for the drugs and if he fails he would get in serious trouble.

    Or do what the last person said and send him to a Boot Camp or Military School.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Have you figured out what the root of his defiance is? He's acting out because something has happened. Does your school have a good counselor that you could ask for help or get material to read to help? Is there a church nearby that you can talk to their youth pastor for help? Do you have any friends that he looks up to that could talk to him?
    turtle2006

    Answer by turtle2006 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • May need to petition the Court for a JIPS/child protective order. Our son acted out the same way. Check with your Co. Soc. Services Dept. They give rules & punishments for violations to rules. Takes stress off parents in ways. He'll have no choice but to listen to authorities, attend counseling or else suffer consequences. Per our school's Dean, alot of kids have turn around after being sent to a juvenile detention facility for a day or two. Know it sounds harsh, but if it is for his own good and safety, you gotta check into it so you know you have done your best to protect. Once he turns 18, you can't help him with the consequences for his actions then. step in now while he is still a juvenile and do what you can to get him back on track. And, support, love and support him. He needs you more than the drugs/alcohol. It's scary, but so far, our son has improved in alot of ways. Check into it-may be an answer.
    Squirrel1001

    Answer by Squirrel1001 at 7:34 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Next time he runs away or does drugs call the police and have him arrested, then I would see if I can get him into boot camp or military school.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • It's becoming cliche- but you're child has a mental disorder. There's plenty out there. I've got a 15 year old who was the same way since 11. It's been a nightmare & roller coaster going up down but nowhere . We finally found a good psychologist who prescribed him something for bi-polar.
    It's working! They do have professional brain meds these days- you'll have a very hard time getting him off alcohol and drugs otherwise. Especially at 14, when it's cool! It depends if you're okay with professional help. Some people are against drugs all together, which I'd never agree with. I myself have to take meds for 48 weeks for a virus infection that is deadly, and it's working. My virus is gone! Now I can live again.
    vmariehogan

    Answer by vmariehogan at 8:02 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • TOUGH LOVE IS WHAT IS NEEDE HERE.. IF YOU HAVE TO, TURN HIM OVER TO THE STATE, CALL THE COPS ON HIM. DO WHAT EVER YOU HAVE TO OR YOU WILL LOSE HIM!!

    40yrmom

    Answer by 40yrmom at 10:49 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I so agreee with the other posters, Military school would be great. Not to punish him, but to help him. This would help him with authority, respect, and if i could afford it, my 16 yr old woulda been there 2 yrs ago.
    Cal311

    Answer by Cal311 at 8:05 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • i'd be cruel. id put him in juvenile for a wake up call....
    youngandafraid

    Answer by youngandafraid at 3:41 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I went to Job Corps out of state, I was 19 but still headed down the wrong path before I got there. He can get his GED, learn a trade and possibly go to college after or start working. It's all about what's going on at home and his relationship with you. I agree with the other's that you really need to find the root of the problem, something happened to him obviously no one knows about that is causing him to act out. Just don't be so defensive when he is having a good day or a good moment, try to make it last and when things are good it's easier to find out what is really wrong. Don't make him feel like everyone is against him, Everyone needs a fresh start in a new place once in a while where no one knows your past or what your about. Just Please Please Please realize something went wrong with your son but he is not a bad person, be a strong loving mom and don't give up! I believe in you!
    chakithavina

    Answer by chakithavina at 2:00 PM on Jan. 14, 2009

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