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Would you question your BFF's parenting?

My BFF and I have been friends for almost 20 years. I don't not agree with her parenting style. Her 12 (almost 13) year old was sick for over a week. I mean nasty cough, vomiting, and fever. When she finally took him into the Dr. she found out he has pneumonia. He is not doing much better 5 days into his treatment, and she was told to take him back in should he not improve. She does not want to take him back in because they may hospitalize him. She also has a 6 mth old that is behind on all his shots. He hasn't had shots since he was 2 mths old. He has outgrown his infant car seat weight wise and lengthy wise and she is refusing to put him a convertable car seat because "she is not ready for him to be that big yet". It doesn't matter that her child is not safe anymore. Just that she is not ready to accept he is growing. Not enough room to furhter explain. Do I say something?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You, as her bff, should definately say something. Make her understand that she is playing with the health of her kids. And what she is doing is seriously wrong.

    Her 12 yr old needs medical help - quick!
    and her baby definately needs a new carseat - fast!

    There is a reason why those carseats have a weight/lenght cap. And that reason is: safety. If she has an accident with the car its possible that her baby will get hurt really bad, because the carseat wont cover/protect the baby good enough. Make sure she will understand that.

    She also needs to realize that pneumonia is serious business. Does she not know that people are actually dying from it?!

    please talk to her. i wish you good luck

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Yep talk to her.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:50 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • No you don't. I'm sure if her son isn't getting any better she will take him back in to the hospital, unless she just doesn't realize how serious pnumonia can be. If that's the case maybe say something like hey did you hear the stats on kids dieing from pnumonia or something of the sorts. As for the carseat, my 11 month old is still in her infant seat, and will be until at least a year, and she's a big thing. Not all moms choose to vaccinate and that's their right as parents.

    Answer by avpriddis at 5:52 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Explain that while you value her as a friend, and you love her and her children, you would like to give her some mom to mom advice.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:53 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • That is what is the most frusterating, she is an LPN, and knows the risks of pneumonia. She also has worked with sick children, including one that was brain dead from lack of proper restraint in an accident. I have talked to her about the childrens health/safety, but never been that direct as to say "hey, you are a great friend, but right now you are being a crappy Mom". I have asked about the lack of health care and I get "I don't have time" , "we haven't found a Dr. yet" or "I'll do it tomorrow".

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Sorry I reread and I could be wrong about the carseat thing, mine may have a high weight and height cap.

    Answer by avpriddis at 5:54 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • If her excuse is she doesn't have time, as a friend offer to watch one of the kids while she takes care of the other one, or offer to run some errands while she is taking care of it. Research some dr's for her, and say hey I found this dr he's accepting new patients why don't you check him out.

    Answer by avpriddis at 5:56 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Anon call to CPS. She's endangering her children and that is not excusable.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree w/ ANON 638. This is well past your friendship with her, this is about the health and safety of her children. They will most likely do nothing more then make her get her SH*& togather.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:44 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Tell her that you love her and that you love her kids too and that is why you have these concerns. I would preface the conversation with something like "You know we are great friends, and what I am going to say right now might hurt, but I am concerned for your children because...."

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 7:09 PM on Jan. 10, 2009