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how do i get out of this situation

my children's father and his family are making my life a living hell. he is extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. it's a very long chain of events but the fact of the matter now is they making false accusations to CPS against me to take my kids. CPS couldn't disclose who made the allegations but i know it's them. my kids father is playing a mind game with me saying he doesn't know anything. they want me out of the picture and them to have the kids. i am looking to get a lawyer to help me but i have no money of my own. i am trapped. i want to take my kids and get the hell out of here but i can't right now because CPS is involved. please, i need any advice i can get. i am NOT going to let this happen to my children and myself.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • There are lawyers that will work pro-bono (for free) for certain cases. I would document every conversation that you have with your ex, ex's family, CPS, etc... Make sure your home is clean and that there is nothing they can put against you to have your children taken away. If you run, you will be in even more trouble, and it will make you look bad.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:46 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree.. keep your house as clean as possible, keep it stocked with essentials for the kids to eat (even if you dont' drink milk, keep it in the fridge anyway) etc. Volunteer to take any classes they recommend (they'll benefit you anyway). Once CPS comes in for that visit tho, they used to put on the complaint if the call was not necessary and go on, but after so many parents have had the children taken away and then were killed (by parent/parents SO) they've had to be more careful.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:51 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I have worked in Family Law for a few years, and this is what I would recommend, although different states vary. You need to call your local county bar association, they can give you the number for Lawyer Referral. In addition they can give you the numbers to any attorneys that might take a family law case pro bono. Attorneys that use the Lawyer Referral service usually do a consultation for free, and you only have to pay Lawyer Referral thirty-five dollars. The attorney can then advise you about what your options are and what you need to do.


    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 9:00 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Just remember that most states are mother's states. They are not going to be taking your children away unless you are doing crack, not feeding them, or abusing them. CPS will give you repeated chances to fix any violations. Just make sure you appear at all of your court appearances, fill out all paper work, and do not ignore anything that you are supposed to do. In addition I would limit the amount of conversations between your ex and his family. Unless he calls you to speak with the children or the court orders you to speak with him, dont. Do not accuse him, yell, or saying anything that is demeaning to him or his family. The less you say, the less ammo they have.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 9:00 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • if you still have custody of your kids and not CPS, you can leave any time you want! it may seem cowardly to some, but if there is the slightest chance CPS would take your kids, i would move out of that county YESTERDAY!!!
    you DO NOT have to stay even if they have an open investagation going on, no matter what CPS says to the contary

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 10:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • CPS has been called on many people. They come out and they investigate and if they see no signs of abuse or neglect they will close the case. Don't get upset. Just make sure you don't give them a reason for concern. Prove that h and his family are just making false accusations. Remain calm and in control. Use the good advice above. Keep the house clean and the kids fed and in school on time every school day. Make sure they are supervised and never left alone unless they are old enough by state law to be alone for short periods of time. You can get through this without an attorney but if you need one go to Legal Aid or follow the posted instuctions above.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:06 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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