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Please help!! I don't know what to do about my husband anymore...

He is never happy with anything that I do for him, and I do alot!! He always tells me how fat and ugly I am (which is NOT true!!) and he thinks that he is always right!! He has gotten physically violent a couple times and according to him it was my fault that he gave me a bloody nose or punched me in the face!! My kids have not seen him act this way yet, and i'm scared that if they do they will think that this behavior is ok and it's not! On his good days things are perfect but if I do or say anything to make him mad he just snaps! Everytime he says or does somthing to hurt me he tells me it will never happen again, but deep down I know it will but I can't bring myself to leave him. I'm cofused and I don't know what to do anymore! Is anyone in a position similar to mine? Does anyone have any advice??

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • My advice is to tell him he needs to get in anger management of you're leaving. It's only a matter of time before he loses his temper and hurts you really bad or worse, hits one of the kids when he snaps.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:57 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Did he just start to hit you?
    If so maybe he is on drugs, you will never know unless you notice his behaivor being different. or if you ask.

    If he has been hitting for awhile now shame on you for being with him no woman deserves to be hit. You need to make yourself strong for you and the kids and leave his butt.

    Believe me once you are gone then that is when he will miss and will know what he had. So don't take his poop any longer. Girl wake up!!!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:58 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • no no no no! Pack your bags and get out now! If you don't know how to find shelters for battered women and their children, call a minister or doctor and ask, or call the police and ask. People don't change. He won't stop. And your children will find out, supposing they don't already know, which likely they do. Bringing them up in such an atmosphere teaches them that it is OK to beat up your wife or that it is OK to be beaten up. For your sake and the sake of your children and your future grandchildren get out. Don't subject the children to this kind of life.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:58 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • LEAVE. Well the first time he put his hands on me I would have called the cops, pressed charges and booted his loser azz. Leave, I really don't understand why you are still there after how he treats and talks to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Jesus Christ, I am sorry but what the hell is wrong with guys these days?? I am so sorry for you mama. I want for you to leave him. I want for you to have the strength to leave him. I want for you to have enough love for yourself to leave him!! I know that you love him, but do you love living your life like that? What is going to happen when your kids do see him hit you? They are going to hate their father and they are going to be so upset inside for you!! Come on now..I know you love your children more than anything in this world...Now love yourself enough to say I need to leave this situation for myself and for my children!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Hell to the NO!!! You will not be able to call me out of my name first of all. Second of all he wouldn't ever in his life hit me. I would have stabbed his ass and left him there bleeding. You need to get your self out of that situation before it gets more physical.
    Dead serious get a back bone and rely on it. Don't allow him to do that to you. Your a mother and should not have to go through that from no one.
    Kick his ass right in the nuts if he tries it again and run out the damn door with your kids in tow.

    Answer by MrsTGray at 9:00 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • "He has gotten physically violent a couple times and according to him it was my fault that he gave me a bloody nose or punched me in the face!"

    Pack up the kids and LEAVE. Right now. leave everything but the children behind. Do it the second you finish reading this answer.


    If you want to live, LEAVE. NOW.

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I am sorry to hear, yes, you should leave. Its only going to get wrost, he will be doing it in from of the children very soon. What makes you think that your children don't know what's going in? Abusers are only sorry, for 2 seconds, which means its not real. Are you able to leave, is there a family member or someone that can help you get out? There is alot of help out there, like shelters and 800 numbers where you can go for help. You are being physically & mentally abused. The longer you stay the more he will hurt your self esteem. ABUSERS enjoy to make their victims feel Worthless-don't let him do it to you. I am sure you have a lot to offer and maybe in the future, someone else will see that in you. Let go. I have been there and got out. Have a safe plan, save some money, take your personal documents as well as your children and GET OUT. Keep me posted and take care of yourself.

    Answer by Yve538 at 9:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • If there's a next time, I hope there won't be. Call the cops, press charges and get an order of protection. Even if you feel embarrassed because you called them in the past, just do it. Leave.

    Answer by Yve538 at 9:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • To me it looks like your one of those women that still stays with that guy just because you say its to hard to leave him or i love him to much do leave him knowing he aint worth your time treating you like that. if your really asking for advice that your willing to do then best thing and the thing you should do is leave him you dont need a man like that who brings you down and makes you feel ugly and like you aint worth anything. Be smart not dumb like some other girls that stay with men who are mean and ass holes to them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

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