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What would you do in this situation?

We were all at my Mom's house for dinner. My mom also invited my 16 yo dd boyfriend to accompany us. Well my dd and her boyfriend were downstairs watching a movie while the rest of us were upstairs cleaning up after dinner. My 18 yo ds decided to go downstairs only to find my dd boyfriend on top of her on the couch. I did not find out about this until a few days after because my 18 yo ds did not want to cause a big problem at my mom's house. I have to admit I did have a talk with my dd about how this looked and I told her that I did not like this type of behavior especially at her grandmother's house...I mean I would not let my dh touch me at my Mom's. :) I am at a loss as to how to feel about the boyfriend being with my dd. I just told her not to be stupid and I had a talk with her about sex again and said that I would be there for her if she needed me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I think you really did all you can do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Well, I had daughters as well.. I would not allow the 16 year olds boyfriend to go with the family, because it will look like to them that you approve of them being together. See you have to be smart about this stuff... My daughter's boyfriends were afaid of me... they thought I was crazy.. I liked it that way. My daughter had a 6 ft 3 boyfriend that was afraid of little ole 5 ft 2 me... It was hilarious... But I didn't let him think any different. I never made boyfriends feel liked or wanted.. If you do, they might stay a while. It's better if they learn where the door is as fast as possible.

    Answer by pupmom at 9:51 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • i think you did fine they are going to do it talk or not sorry at least now shes informed

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 9:59 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Wow! I think you should take more action than that. If he is brazen enough to do that at your mom's house just think what they are doing alone. It's not about how it "looked" it's about what is really happening. Put the brakes on their relationship before some serios problems happen.

    Answer by simpsonville at 11:09 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing. If they're going to fool around, they'll do it with or without your consent or knowledge. However, you showed your daughter how a lady should act, and kept the door of communication open. It's when your teen feels they can't talk to you w/out fear of judgment or punishment that all the trouble starts.

    Answer by plylerjones at 9:02 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • my mom never let me close any doors that I was behind with my boyfriend. We had an open door policy while with a boy in a room.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • My mom now feels a false guilt that I tell her is not her fault. But I was a pretty good child w/ good morals. She totally trusted me to make wise decisions with the boyfriend my junior and senior year. He lived 4 hours away. I kept myself pure and all of my previous boyfriends new not to go over the line. It was very important for me to be pure for marriage. But this one guy was different. I have no good reasong to give up something I held so dear. But everytime he came to visit, we were left alone. I soooooooooo wish that my mom or dad would have said, "hey sweetheart, don't be by yourselves". Now married 26 years to someone who will never love me, no matter how much I tried to show him. A 19 and a13 year old and they'v e not had a good life. Because of me.

    Answer by lovewing at 11:32 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Some girls feel that because they did it one time that it's all over. This is not true. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean that it made you bad for the rest of your life. Doing it again just pours on more guilt. So many serious deseases and there are no birth controls that are 100 %. I did make a choice. I, now a mom, do not want this same thing to happen to my son or daughter.
    This is why we are a parent, to help our children. Our human struggle, when it comes to sex, is so hard to deal with.

    Answer by lovewing at 11:52 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • It's hard to be a teenager with all those hormones raging. Make sure that she's never alone with her boyfriend, ever. It's your job as her mom to keep her safe and help her make the right decisions. Good luck!

    Answer by bluiidmommy at 1:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Yeah, I agree I think you've did all you can. Just make sure shes safe.

    Answer by jaydababe10 at 12:14 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

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