Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 year old throwing a fit, help.

My 3 year old son has just started throwing a fit everytime I tell him no about something. He will scream and cry, but of course I don't give in. I don't tell him no about everything, it's mainly over candy which I don't let them eat alot. I have never gave in on crying so I don't know why he just started out of the blue. I will read any advice, please someone help.

 
m_allen

Asked by m_allen at 10:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My 3 yr old does this too. It's getting better though! He knows now that if he wants to cry or throw a fit, he has to do it in his own room. He can come out when he's ready to talk to me in a normal voice, no crying, no whining. This seems to be working. He's at the point where when he starts, all I have to do is point at his room, he goes in there, then comes out when he has calmed down. Then we talk about why he was so upset. Just try to be patient and remind yourself that he won't do it forever! (I have a hard time remembering that! lol)
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 11:45 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Learning No is an important part of life. Just tell him you know he's upset that he can't have or do whatever. Let him know you understand and help him find healthy ways to express his frustration, especially by teaching him the words to express his emotions. That's a vital key to emotional control. Also, try to give him choices whenever possible (only choices you can actually agree to!). Also remind him that when he screams and cries that you can't hear or understand him. He needs to use his manners in order for you to understand what he wants. Stay calm and don't give in. Let him know you understand, but you cannot comply with his desires.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:49 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • I agree with both posts. I do offer one or two choices with everything. If he cries and whines about having candy; I saw no it's not good for you...how about grapes?" This sometimes works but if it doesn't we also allow tantrums in his room. I tell him that I know that he is upset because he loves candy so much but it is not good for him and that it is my job to make sure he's healthy and that if he wants to cry and throw a tantrum he has to do it in his room and that he can come out when he's ready to do something else fun or have the "grapes" (the alternative whatever it might be) Good Luck
    Mimi2mommy

    Answer by Mimi2mommy at 12:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • He is just testing you to learn whether or not you are consistent in what you say. When he was two years old, you could redirect, distract him and get him to do what you wanted. Now at three years of age, he has learned that he can make things happen or keep the from happening. He has learned that he can "control" a situation to a certain extent. He is also learning that the different people in his life have different levels of tolerance and some are more easily swayed. (ex. grandma may give in after two tantrums, but dad just takes one) Stay consistent with your expectations and rules and you will get through this stage. Good Luck!
    LovetoTeach247

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 6:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Well my 4-year old does this and has done this for over a year now. We are now in the process of testing him for different things. We have been going to a counselor and we have tried lots of different techniques. He won't stay in his room, he won't quit crying. He will scream for 2 or 3 hours and it doesn't bother him. If you try different techniques and they still don't work you may want to try and get some help. The counselor we go to works with him by playing and activities and it is really good for him. Everything they have told me to try we do and it doesn't work. All I can say is don't give up. There will be some way to work thru it. You have to also show him that it doesn't bother you for him to act like that b/c if he knows it upsets you then he will keep doing it.
    momwifelove

    Answer by momwifelove at 1:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2009