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Do you go through your husband's phone?

So here is the deal, my husband went out of town for almost two weeks. When he came back everything was great! A few days later we seemed a bit distant, i did not know what the deal was. I decided to go through his phone and there were some messages to some other girl and they were sweet talking. I lost it before he could explain. His explanation was that his cousin used his phone while he was out of town to talk to this girl, and he was trying to help out his cousin by still texting her pretending to be him. He swears it is the truth and this has never happened before.I let it go and told him to delete her #, i checked his phone while he was in the shower and found that he tried to text that # again. I dont know what to think or do. I need some advice please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jan. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • yes, i used to check my ex hubbys phone right up until this monday. and i found by checking his whole account that he had an affair, he did confirm. i stayed. he called her again. i called it quits. look for numbers that occur often. try to text her yourself acting like him it does work. an you can findout for yourself. i am not saying he is cheating but i never hurts to check anyway. men think they are smart and sneaky. putting a womens name under a males. good luck. i got tired of looking, i wish you the best. if u wont to chat i have more spi ideas. lol try to keep your cool it will be ok
    MIXED

    Answer by MIXED at 12:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Yeah I do. It's part of the therapy thing. Trust but hold accountable. Is it a local number? and how sweet was the talking if you know what i'm saying?

    I've been down this road and it's not a fun place to be. Write down the number and then confront him. Also, our cell phone company shows all texts to and from online, the numbers I mean. You could get a little more info that way. Just be prepared, it might not be pretty. It might be just fine.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:24 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • yeah, i've checked my hubby's phone. he couldn't stop talking to his ex, it was driving me crazy. we've worked it out, but if he's sweet talking another girl or helping his cousin out, idk...sounds a little off to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • You could always set it up so they both meet you at the same place at the same time using his phone. Just make sure you have a sitter.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:26 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • he should of told you from the very start what he did. if my husband was going to do that he would tell me and if i didn't think he was being honest i would ask the cousin or i would text her myself. not sure what i would but ask her how do your know (put husbands name here) she may not know your husband at all. thing is doesn't this girl know his cousins number. i do go through my husbands phone but not cause i think anything is up but since i can i just do cause i get nosy who he talks to or what he and his friends talk about. i.e. me or not. mostly i see that i text him the most. your hubby doesn't sound like he is being very truthful. why not just tell you up front what he intended to do for his cousin. ask her if she knows his cousin that would be better cause she would know your husband if anything was there but if it's cousin she'll say isn't this (cousins name here?)
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:27 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I dont really know you or your husband, but my soon to be ex husband did something like that one time, only he deleted the texts between him and her but forgot the one his friend sent him talking about the texts between him and the other girl. He also gave me a line like that, he let his friend borrow it and didnt feel the need to keep their texts on his phone. In my opinion it really sounds fishy and i would be carefull. sounds like something is up with him. But like i said, i dont know your husband, i only know what my husband did, and later i found out that him and the girl he was texting made out and almost went "all the way" Im sure it will al be alright. I would just be carefull. I go through my husbands phone all the time especially after those messages. I think its perfectly normal to want to see who he is talking to and about what.
    Madison428

    Answer by Madison428 at 12:29 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • if you feel something is up then most likely something is up. women intuition. it's rarely wrong. ask him to stop. he loves you and only you he won't argue one bit. he would just say ok honey i will. make sure you hide and keep the number for yourself. you may want to call her and get it straight from the horses mouth. ask him if you can ask her yourself. my husband would let me if it was truly innocent.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • if he decides to stop texting her after you two work it out. have him change his number. that way she wont have his number. and if you see more then it is him chasing her. hell i have changed my ex so number myself. i didnt care if he got mad but i found the truth. you should be able to disable his text mess. also. it is up to you. again wishing you luck. stay strong. i am praying for you
    MIXED

    Answer by MIXED at 12:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I also forgot to mention that he called that number a few times after he came back to town, it was a number from mexico and he said he did not plan on telling me he was texting her. And he was talkingto her like if they had already met, she did not mention his name, but they were talking about sending pictures and that he missed har and was thinking about her while he was at work, he also sent her kisses, it pissed me off because he doesnt even talk to me like that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • apparently he had memorized the number, because yesterday he erased all the messages an her number, i went through his phone today, i did not find ant text messages but the number was in his recent log
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

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