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8 Bumps

I got these for my DD, her dad tried to make her throw them away What would you do?

We are not together but DD 13, visits her dad once a month for the weekend. He saw these pants and got so mad, he had his wife go through her bag and take everything out that she deems "inappropriate"
http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265661792075&c=Page&cid=1319075842108&pagename=vsdWrapper
BTW they are the hot pink ones that say pink on the front, there is nothing written on the butt of the ones I bought because I won't buy her stuff with something written on the butt.
When she went through the bag, she found these

http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265645974983&c=Page&cid=1319078563025&pagename=vsdWrapper (again, nothing with anything written on the butt)
and
two of these
http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646103257&c=Page&cid=1319075842133&pagename=vsdWrapper
This is all in addition to her other clothes. My ex called me PISSED that I dared to buy her things from Victoria's Secret. I buy her Victoria's Secret because I have a Victoria's Secret credit card so I get LOTS of great deals. Nothing I bought her was any more revealing then if I had bought her Hanes underwear but he said if she EVER brings any of it over again, he will through it away. She is upset because 1. she feels her privacy was invaded and 2. she feels she should be able to wear her things. I told him that he has no right to throw her stuff away or to have anyone go through it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Dec. 16, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (47)
  • I don't buy my DD that's 12 from VS. It's an adult store. I can see him getting upset
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 1:40 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • I see nothing wrong with it. You're right, those cover everything. Adult store? It's underwear, not sex toys! I'd feel violated too. You said pants so I was expecting to see sweats, but the fact that someone went through her underwear is more than disturbing.
    SaraD1989

    Answer by SaraD1989 at 1:47 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • on the last link, is it just the red bra or does she have the underwear too? the last set of undies would be a little much (imo) for a 13 yo. but if theres nothing written on the butt of the first two i dont see the problem. Victorias Secret may sell sexy & adult stuff, but they also sell normal pjs, track suits, and lotions...its not all bad just b/c its from VS.

    what i find most disturbing is your ex letting his wife go through her stuff...that is none of her business. also, does you ex not realize that by doing stuff like this he will eventually push y'alls DD away? if he were to keep this up isnt she old enough to decide she doesnt want to go to his house once a month?
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 1:48 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • Helen, the PINK brand is specifically for teen girls. What do you see wrong with what I bought?
    okmanders, no it was just the bra and actually, she got the pink and blue bras. The other reason I buy her panties there is because they have very conservative panties (the boy shorts) without looking like granny panties.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:01 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • I would not say that these are inappropriate in any way. Absolutely his behavior was out of line. She is at a very delicate age in her life where she is likely just starting to feel attractive/notice boys. Going through her things and having a big huge blow up about how inappropriate her underwear are is just... ugh. I remember being a teenager I would have been HUMILIATED that my father and his wife were pawing my underwear and discussing with each other how inappropriate they were. Especially if I had liked them and thought they were cute. "If she ever brings any of it over again" .... does that mean from now on he will be riffling through her things whenever she comes over. I'd discuss with your DD if she even wants to go over there anymore if they do it again. Though I would say a conversation with him after he has calmed down would be nice. Perhaps explain that it is just a brand name.
    Nicky2911

    Answer by Nicky2911 at 2:20 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • – collapse
    Sara, that's my opinion and I'm entitled to it! I on the other hand am raising my kids with respect! We don't promote sex at the age of 13 !!!
    I don't feel It's appropriate for a 13 year old to be shopping at VS! How you raise your children, is your business!
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 2:45 AM on Dec. 16, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • how is buying boy short underwear, lounge pants and bras promoting sex? Should my 13 year old not wear a bra?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:49 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • VS is all about sex !!! Have you not seen there ads? Have you not seen the things they sell at that store? I am not ok taking my 13 year old to VS! What kind of message am i sending out?
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 2:56 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • VS is about clothes, mostly underwear. Yes they sell lingerie but so does walmart, sears, jcpenny and most other clothing stores.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:00 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

  • OK, I'm going to play devil's advocate here. Victoria's Secret is known for their sexy lingerie. Yeah, they make clothes, too, but I doubt most men are as familiar with that side of the business. So what Dad sees is his "little girl" wearing stuff from the sexy store, and he's probably not ready for it.

    Please keep in mind, I'm not saying what he and his wife did was right. I'm just offering a different viewpoint. Considering it is only one weekend a month, would it be that difficult to just pack something different for her to wear?

    Oh, and for what it is worth, if your daughter is wearing the pants as formfitting as in the picture, I think they are inappropriate for a 13 year old. It isn't the style that bothers me so much as the snug, shape revealing fit.
    katiemomNY

    Answer by katiemomNY at 3:01 AM on Dec. 16, 2011

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