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Is this considered RAPE???

ok, if your spouse or b/f has sex with you and you are so drunk, that you don't even remember, then brags to you the next day about how he enjoyed it, in my openion this is considered rape, because I was drunk and would not have even known had he not told me!!!! I told him that that was rape and how could he enjoy it with me just laying there without any reaction. Kinda makes me wonder if he has done this to me before.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on Jan. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • At any rate anytime you drink and can't think coherently you should not be taking for granted.


    Please. Most of the time girls get drunk they get all sorts of slutty. This is ridiculous that everyone is penning it on the guy. If you don't want to have sex with someone...then dont drink yourself into oblivion with them because then you may just say hey you're looking pretty hawt to me and spread eagle.


    There is NO actual proof that the OP didn't give consent, or that she didn't even egg it on. My husband and I have drunk sex....does that mean he should stop because I'm drunk? Don't think so.


    End of story, OP has no legal grounds for crying rape. And honestly I think it's pretty shitty to use rape so loosely when there are honestly girls getting raped every day. The OP got stupid drunk and can't remember if she put out or not...to her SO. That's not rape.

    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 5:51 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • That's really sick and it's happened to me before. He got such a big kick out of it after I found signs of sex the next morning. I resented him for it. I feel it's rape- you were not consenting. By the way... I ditched that guy years ago- he seemed to have a lot of sick probs such as porn and window peeping on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • were you passed out..cause if so then Yes. were you saying no or giving other words or actions saying no. cause if so Yes it is rape. Did he tell you you passed out or were saying no or something to make you think it was against your will. Was he drunk as well? He may have thought you were just hot and horny for him. Not trying to sound against what you think here but if you dont remember it then maybe you were hot and horny for him idk maybe you werent. I think I would definantly pry a little more but not in a full out confrontation just like "so what types of things did I do to you?" "What did you like best about me being drunk and us having sex?" Try to find out the rest of what went on...And I really hope that he did not rape you cause how can you trust someone after they have done that to you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Well its kinda.. not sure what word to use. kinda tough situation there..

    You say that you dont even remember. Do you remember to tell him "nah honey, i dont want to have sex now!"... was he as drunk as you? he says that he "enjoyed it". Enjoyed what? - the sex with his gf or the sex with a woman that couldnt do anything about it?!

    You need to ask yourself those questions, before you call someone, espcecially your SO a rapist.

    But if he says: "i had sex with you, because i wanted to and you couldnt do shit about it and i enjoyed it" then you should probably call the cops, but if you cant even remember. i dont know. its really tough.

    But if he would have "raped" you, you think he would have told you about it?!
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:09 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • yeah well... the guy that did that to me took advantage of the whole deal... I know I never would have consented. After I discovered I had been anally violated... I looked in the bed room and he had a bottle of cooking oil in there to use on me. Believe me... when he found out I thought something had happened- he was one proud jerk.... if I hadn't had said anything... he would have told me eventually for he enjoyed it too much- the sicko! Thank God he's out of my life now...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I don't know. You really have to look at the situation and ask yourself. I mean even if he wasn't as drunk as you, he's your spouse (or SO). I know when I'm drunk, I'm all for getting it on with my hubby, so even if I was a little too drunk to remember the next day, I can guarantee that I would have been encouraging the situation, plus hubby does enjoy it because I'm very outgoing and less self conscious when I've been drinking. So if you weren't contesting and you were conscious, I don't really think I'd consider it rape. If it upset you though, you need to talk to him about it and try not to let yourself get that drunk again. For me, if I was drunk and hubby had sex with me, it wouldn't be rape, but I trust my husband not to do anything to me that I wouldn't agree with. Definitely tell him how it makes you feel though. Good luck.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 5:04 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Well, it could be answered 2 different ways for me. If you were so drunk that you don't remember, and he is your BF or husband and if you have had sex before, and you don't know if you said no or not, it really isn't rape. If you remember saying no even while drunk, then yes thats rape. you were drunk and that was a choice you made. Maybe with everything that happened, its your wake up call.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:01 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I don't know if its rape or not.

    However, Kat122...how dare you say its her wake up call! She did nothing wrong...most of us would not ever think having too much to drink and expecting your husband to not have sex without your consent, as a wake up call...if we cant trust our husbands then who do we trust?
    MommaLucy

    Answer by MommaLucy at 6:42 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • ^^ I think she's saying it might be a wake up call showing her that she doesn't trust her hubby/ bf
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 6:48 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Clearly you feel violated...in my book that is rape. Now in a court of law...this would not stand a chance. sad, but true. If you feel that you were raped, you were.

    The bigger question here is Why? Why would someone that 'loves' you do this ? And then brag about it? This is scary! He is scary....very scary. This person is not interested in you or your feelings. Sex..yes...he is interested in that. With or without you involved and willing. I would be really concerned about what this person is capable of and what his intentions were. This person had no respect for you while you were drunk or after. This is someone that I would never trust. This person is dangerous and without conscience. I would run away from this person as fast as my legs could take me. don't look back. Find a man who will love and RESPECT you. You deserve it.

    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 6:53 AM on Jan. 11, 2009