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Is NOT teaching something teaching anything?

I am always surprised when parents leave learning up to children for when they are ready or older. IMO, we teach by example if not purposefully. An overwhelming percentage of our communication is body language - behavior. If I haven't taught my child about something purposefully, I still have taught something about it by my actions and speech, that it isn't important, it isn't important to me or I have left the teaching up to someone else. Children of today are inundated with information. Something will fill the void if we leave it open. What do you think?


Asked by happi-ladi at 8:59 AM on Jan. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,167 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I agree with you 100%!

    I almost crapped in my pants the day I corrected my 3 year olds grammer and my MIL told me she always left things like that up to the teachers!!! WHAT???? No wonder my husband is the way he is! lol...

    Answer by my4lads at 9:16 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I think you should read the book "Better Late Than Early".

    I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about. If you're talking about teaching them something educational or values and morals.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:03 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Oh I agree. I think many people are scared to parent their children and want to be their friend not a parent. Parenting is hard work and isnt something someone should go into lightly. I am a sahm because I dont want my child raised by someone else and picking up their mannerisms while I am at work then have me complain later because they learned something from their caregiver I wouldnt have picked. I am not just talking morals which is huge anyway but even behavior, attitudes, etc.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:03 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Yes, in many aspects and situations you are right. When a child has poor behavior, and is not corrected they learn to do "it" again. If a child steals and does not get caught, he/she thinks it is ok. So I can see your point in real world hand-on situations as well as in any educational setting.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:22 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Or drug use or so forth- if the parents don't mention it and the child's peers do, what is the child to think- the peers exert strong pressure so the child will be swayed in that direction. The parent should provide information so that the child at least gets both sides instead of just the one from the other children.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:30 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Teaching starts with the parents, how to deal with siblings, friends, life . We are the ones to instill their values. what the teachers teach kids is something totally else` and as parents, we have the right to qyestion that too. Whenever we would see a child cussing or yelling back at mom, I told my kids that is a learned behavrior, they have seen that done, so they think its ok. You have to correct behavior like that or they are going to just continue it. Is that what you meant?

    Answer by Ibelucky1 at 10:07 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I guess I am confused by your questions. Parent's don't have to sit down to "teach" their children anything. We don't need to allot a specific time slot each day for "learning". A child learns and grows by watching their parents, by having parents encourage their development and curiosity..

    As for the "not teaching".. I don't really know. I never taught my daughter some things but she sees me do it and has learned how to do it (such as turn on the DVD player, or take off the dog's collar).

    What is your question though, can you make it more clear? Because apparently all of us have a different notion of what you are saying.

    Answer by celticreverie at 11:12 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • celticreverie, you hit the nail on the head. Even if we don't make a time and a place to teach, our children are learning from us. If we choose not to teach about religion, they will learn that it isn't important to us unless we practice. Same thing with manners. If we never teach them manners, they will pick it up from us if we are well mannered. Some parents think kids will pick everything up when they are ready. I think it is a mistake to think while we are waiting, they aren't still learning something about it, even if it's that it isn't important enough to be in our lives. Is that better? It's hard to explain.
    ReneeK3, I will look into the book. Sounds interesting. i was not thinking so much about academics but it applies. Children need to be ready to learn but that is not the same thing as allowing them to decide when they will be taught.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 11:37 AM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I think I know what you're talking about. It's like telling a kid "Don't do that you'll hurt yourself" and the kid does it anyway. Well they learned the hard way, and you warned them. That's all you can do. Kids, and especially when they get older, will always do what they want regardless what we parents teach (or not teach) them. I think certain things kids should learn on their own, not from me.

    Answer by rlemde at 11:52 AM on Jan. 11, 2009