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how old is too old?

my DH is 47 and i'm going to be 35 soon.
are we too old to have kids? friends and relatives say, its risky as babies might turn out with disorders due to our 'old' age.
my sis in law freaked out when i told her we were planning to have a baby.
she said babies have higher risk of developing disorders due to our age.
is that true?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jan. 11, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • You know what... I had my 3rd baby (boy) at 41 and my 4th (girl) at 42 and they are both perfect!  yes, statistically the risks do go up, but, that's something you just go into the situation knowing. Both of our "late in life blessings" were surprises... no, make that BIG SURPRISES! But, we're having a blast with them and our 24 yr old daughter & 17 yr old son are absolutely stupid in love with them. They have really livened up our lives and brought back a ton of fun!!! However, on the down side... we will not have an empty nest until we are in our 60's. Sometimes that bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. You just have to think through the pros and cons as they relate to your life, ignore other's comments, then go with your heart!


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 4:45 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I think that 35 is fine, I know plenty that have tried at later ages. Providing your doctor has no problems with it, which I doubt he/she would have then go for it. Good Luck.

    Answer by HNK11 at 1:19 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • When youre over 35 you are at higher risk for diff things but movie star etc are having babies in their 40s. I dont see a problem with it. Men can have babies until they are pretty old and women until they stop menstruating. If you want a child and mother nature says you can then go for it.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:20 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • You should accept the extra testing for women of advanced maternal age offered to you , but you are far from too old. Good Luck in your journey!

    Answer by Meshell7 at 1:20 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I think that 45 should be the stopping point. Biologically, we can always borrow eggs. But the real questions is if the parent wants to be alive for the grandkids.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 1:23 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • 35 is fine if you were 45 i might say your at risk for baby having defects but..... everyone is at risk for thier baby having defects so if you want a baby then have one its nobodys business!!! good luck!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:23 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Get a prenatal blood test done, and then have a meeting with your OB/GYN. Your age matters more not his. My father had two kids in his 60's, and they are fine. My sister and aunt had kids at 41 and they are fine & healthy. 35 used to be my cut off age, now almost 40, its 41. Listen to your doctor, not family members. Schedule your appt. this week.

    Answer by Yve538 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • The chances of genetic disorders does increase each year of a woman's life. The age of 35 is considered "advanced maternal age". There are also some preliminary studies out with a correlation (not causation) of higher genetic disorders and the age of the man, too.

    You guys have to do what you feel is right for YOU two.

    My husband and I had our first when I was 37, the last was born when I was 40. I'm now 42 with a 4 year old, 3 year old and 2 year old (last two were surprises). I'm exhausted! I would strongly suggest if you want to have a baby (or more) to do it now and not wait! The older you are the less energy you have! rofl

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Both of you need to go in and get a full work-up to make sure that you are healthy enough to have a baby. If you are really concerned, maybe go in for genetics counseling as well so you know if there's anything that you need to be concerned about before you TTC. I do not think that your ages are "too old" to have a baby. Men have children well into their 50's. Women though, it's advised to not have children after the age of 40...and you are 5 years below that. Tell your family, thank you for your concern, but we will make our own decisions on this. I'd go for it if you get the all-clear from your doctors. I personally would not have children after 30, but that's only because I wanted to be young when I had mine. Something about still being able to enjoy my life after my children are gone to college. (I am 27 with 2 kids.)


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • I am 46 years old and my DH are trying to have a baby. This is my 2nd marriage and we want our love to continue in the form of a child. As far as being here for grandkids, there is no guarantee that will happen when you are young. We are not promised any amount of time so the time you are here should be enjoyed and lived to the fullest. That includes having a baby with my DH for me. I think it's a personal choice. Of course I realize the risks involved at this age, but we are willing to take those risks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2009