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What do you think the hardest thing about being a stepmom is?

For me, there are many many things, but the idea that we are expected to love our step kids the same as our own, but when it comes to details of the step kids lives (like homework, discipline, etc) we are expected to mind our own business because they are not our children, well, it is bull. Don't ask me to love my stepchild the same as my flesh and blood, and then not care about not having a say in their life or to butt out of things that concern them. For me it just doesn't work that way.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jan. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • I know how you feel. I have been a stepmom for 16 years (since he was born) and have been there through all of the crap but when it comes to his education I should not have a say. It is that way for both my husband and I, we have bent over backwards to make his life the best it can be but we have been told to stay out of some things. I just think the child's best interest is not the main concern.
    Kari126

    Answer by Kari126 at 4:02 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • In my case my step kids birth mother loves to tell my step kids mean things like there dad hates them to get back at him and that I stoled him away. Sometimes shell say that he doesnt love them anymore because he has children with me and that my kids took their place. The hardest thing for me to deal with is making sure they know thats not true. They are young so they will believe their mother at times, though I am seeing as they get older they can see she just acts that way when she is mad. I know my step children are not stupid and will learn people can say some mean things. It just hurts that she would do that to her own children. I see it as im here to do may best with the time I have with them with out overstepping my boundaries.
    RiverKyla

    Answer by RiverKyla at 4:09 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • i am not a stepmom, so i don't know, but i do agree that it is BS to be expected to love them but not be involved with raising them and making decisions for them as you would your bio children
    my sister is divorced and remarried and mom, dad and stepdad are all involved in the decision making process together and that is how it should be, i think
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 6:36 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

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