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bff help

My best friend for 20+ years has always been very opinionated and feels a need to control me. It has taken many years (and some therapy honestly) to realize what she's doing and move on. I love her dearly, she is like a sister to me. I have become more vocal with her when she does this to me and it usually leads to an argument. Recently she made a statement to me that upset me. I really want to tell her, but we're just getting back to a place where we're friends again. I know if I mention it she'll apologize, etc but I want her to stop telling me how to raise my kids, succeed at my business and critique every choice I make.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jan. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You gonna have to gain your independence from her. U can remain distant friends even though u love each other very much. Your past is what makes u bff but your future cannot depend on anyone but u. Ultimately u will face your music/future.
    milmiracle

    Answer by milmiracle at 4:53 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • My best advice is to tell her calmly about it.
    My best friend said something extremely rude one day and later on I brought it up and told her it really bothered me that she said it. We talked calmly and I handled it very well and so did she.
    I showed her respect and didn't get hasty with her and she really felt bad for saying it after I told her how it offended me and apologized.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Oh I forgot to add. If that doesn't work then she isn't a real best friend and you need not waste your time with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • Let her apologize. And why do you want to be friends with her? I had to let go of friend's who have been negative and aren't interested in improving themselves. My mother is my biggest critic but I can't ditch her. You can surround yourself with positive people who encourage you. Your friend is a bad habit.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 6:48 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

  • "has always been very opinionated and feels a need to control me."
    " Recently she made a statement to me that upset me. "
    " I want her to stop telling me how to raise my kids, succeed at my business and critique every choice I make."

    This isn't a friendship. This is a toxic relationship with someone you happen to have known for 20 years. time to get to know her a LOT less. Sorry, this kind of behavior isn't acceptable from FAMILY, and you can't pick family.

    She's not your friend. Not at all.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:46 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

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