I had to sign my two children over to an Aunt for adoption to keep them safe.
They are 15 & 13. My aunt will not agree to any open communication between her and I. I just found out what school they are going to. I have been begging to see them for the past 6 to 7 years. I am being told by my grandmother that my aunt feels threthened by me. I have read every book on every angle of adoption. I was told the last question that was asked my my son was...who I was. I am so scared that my aunt has not told them how long I have been trying to make contact with them. I here through the family my 15 son is acting out. I see pictures of my 13 old daughter..her eyes long so sad. What do I do. Are my children needing to know who I am and they are afraid of hurting their second mother. Do I continue to be kept at arms lenght or do I do something drastic and show up. Please I am trying to get a second opinion. Thanks Stacy
Answer by gemgem at 5:50 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Consult an attorney and do things legally. I don't know your story--was this supposed to be temporary or for good? You need to get help before just popping into their lives. Your Aunt has legal rights and you don't.
Answer by Teachermom01 at 5:53 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Answer by Lyndall at 5:55 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Answer by TheDiva320 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Can you open up communication with her. Explain your position of loving them and missing them. Ask her what kind of a relationship she would feel comfortable having with you and you having with the kids. This is an adult matter and a conversation that should take place in a neutral local without the kids. Those children need to know that you are missing them and love them. It is essential for their self esteem and well being. To feel abandoned can crush an ego of a child. Do whatever you can to gain some kind of relationship with them. You must remain calm and in control though. It sounds like the aunt doesn't trust that you would not try to take them away or come in between their relationship with her. Reassure her. You may wish to seek a arbitrator. A non partial 3rd party without any family ties or prejudice. Like a referee. good luck to ya...keep up your efforts.
Answer by MommasCooCoo at 6:00 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Answer by shmorris56 at 6:14 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Don't do what the previous anonymous poster suggested. It will only estrange your insecure, selfish bitch of an Aunt more and make it difficult for your kids. Actually to anyone who says contacting your kids is illegal, they're wrong. All you signed away was your right to make parental decisions; there's no automatic restraining order in there. However you need to be very careful how you proceed. Personally I'd start with a letter to the whole family with your kids names clearly on the envelope, telling them you're thinking of them and would welcome contact. Could your mom or dad have any influence on their sister?
Answer by onethentwins at 9:14 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jan. 11, 2009
Since when was it illegal for a niece to stand in the presence of her aunt and family?
The OP didn't mention any plans on becoming a criminal, of stealing back her children, or harassing anyone, so why do some people assume she will?? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?
Answer by adopteeme at 4:57 AM on Jan. 12, 2009
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: