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should i stay with abuse

my husband has been kinda abusive both verbally and physically .. i love him so much hes never really hurt me and he cries for hours afterwards because i leave but i just cant leave for good i always come back what do i do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Jul. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • call a shelter and see what kind of counseling you both can get.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:08 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Get family counseling. He won't change without outside help - no matter how sorry he feels.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:12 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • thank you guys i feel so alone with this im ashamed to tell my family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • hon.. dont stay with your husband.. he needs help. things like this NEVER get better.. i know ive been there myself. it took me 6 years to finally get up the courage to leave.it starts out small.. verbal light physical abuse then it gets worse. Please get out before something horrible happens. please dont feel ashamed. you did nothing wrong. He's the one who needs help.. later he will rationalize it. saying how YOU made him do it. EVERYTHING is your fault.. ect ect.. please dont let him fool you. I know you love him. and deep down he loves you to. BUT this isnt healthy!! for you or him either one!!!
    Alizure

    Answer by Alizure at 12:24 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • You don't deserve that I watched my mother live with the same thing and it is no way to live. It won't get better it might even get worse. Don't ever be afraid to talk to your family my mom was but when she finally went to my grandpa who was so happy he paid for her divorce. I hope everything turns out ok for you.
    emmasmommy1016

    Answer by emmasmommy1016 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I am in a similar relationship. Well not anymore. We both have had our moments. You both might need some anger management and marriage counseling. My DH never wanted to go. We have been working on it ourselves since our last big blow up 6mon.ago I left for a month longest ever. Trust me they need to see what they are about to loose to see the light.
    leovirgo_mom3

    Answer by leovirgo_mom3 at 12:40 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I am recently divorced from my abusive husband and I am the happiest I have ever been!! He was both verbally and physically abusive and I slipped into a deep depression. I tried counseling (which I suggest trying) but he didn't like what the counselor had to say so he stopped. My husband to would cry and beg for me to come back and give empty promises of change when I tried to leave and for 7yrs it worked. I knew I had to leave because I did not want my son to grow up treating his wife like i was being treated. It is the hardest thing to but if your strong enough to deal w the abuse for years then you are definatly strong enough to walk away.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Oh, I called the cops on him one time and he spent a night in jail...I stayed w him 2 years after that but he never actually hit me again...shoving yes....just as bad though. Good luck
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:21 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • you may love him, and he loves you as well,  but apparently he has some issues if he is abusing you both mentally and physically, I have been through this before and he only crys because you leave and are sad its a mental game, abuse will never stop, it only gets worse be carefull and if you have children in the home get them away from it because it messes with them menatally no one can tell you weather to stay or go all we can do is give you the right advise thats a decision you have to make on your own, but if you wan't my opinion I would pack up and leave before he severly injures you. good luck.
    crystal_ashton

    Answer by crystal_ashton at 1:46 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • You are in a dangerous relationship. I'm sorry. It's not your fault but now you probably see the 'red flags' and won't get into another bad relationship. The issue is..he can't control his anger and you are the punching bag. you will always be the punching bag until he finds another one or gets long-term help. Anger does not go away once it reaches that level. There are domestic violence hotlines that you need to call to start documenting this immediately. Things could get really bad for you with his temper - he could turn it around on You if you don't document it now. Getting abused affects your life: job, relationships with others, family, and children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

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