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Anger Issues, Yelling, Cussing...

My mom passed away 3 months ago. I have 3 younger siblings, a 17 yr old brother, and two sisters 6 and 10. I'm at my dad's house alot trying to help him out and the 10 year old is getting out of hand. She started mouthing off and getting an attitude before my mom passed away so this isn't something recent. You can ask her to do something and she just totally goes off and starts yelling. You ask her to clean up her mess and she yells and says "Well why do I gotta do everything". It's horrible. If you ground her from anything she dont care. If you whip her she still don't care. The night or mom had a hearattack all she said was "If mama dies can I have her cell phone?"I dont know what to do about her. Me, my mom and dad, and grandma have all tried talking to her and that doesnt even help, she just starts yelling. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • I would get her into counseling. She is acting out probably because she is too young to process all of this on her own. Counseling could be a great asset.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:43 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I agree that I would try taking her to a counselor. I would say that you need to talk to her without yelling or being judgmental about what she is going to say. It may be that part of the reason she is acting this way is because she is starting to hit puberty. I am not saying that is a reason to let her act this way, it is not. I would see if the school have someone she can talk to. I know that at my kids school they have a counselor right at the school. If you have one they may be able to help.

    I know that with my son he is the same way. He could care less about what discipline he gets and he always feels that he does everything. We have to balance things out and talk a lot about things.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:54 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I agree with the previous posts, it sounds like she needs some counseling.

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • She's hurting. Like was mentioned, she has no way of knowing how to appropriately express herself. Get her help. As for the cell phone, many ppl want something of the loved one who passes. It helps them hold on to a memory and keeps them "alive" in her eyes. she may even fantasize about calling Mom to be able to keep in touch. Bless her heart. She just hurts and doesn't know how to grieve like older kids do. Be gentle with her. I wouldn't ground her. I'd hug her every time she acts out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:32 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Get in contact with the school, they should have grief counseling programs. I've had students whose parents have died and they acted out. They have no idea how to deal with all of this-nor should they at this tender age (I teach 6th graders, so not that far off).

    Answer by ConnorsMommy521 at 12:10 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Well she acted like this way before our mom ever passed away so it has nothing to do with losing her. My dad doesn't know how to deal with her now tho bc he was always at work and my mom would disipline her andnothing he does will work. He asks her to help clean up and she gets mad and yells tht she dont have to do anything and runs outside. I know it started, I'd say about 4 years ago bc I remember being pregnant with my daughter and my lil sister would be mean and hit my littlest sister or act the way i say she still does and I'd get onto her. She has some serious anger issues. When my mom died they the counselor at school tried to talk to her but she wouldn't talk to her. I feel sorry for my dad bc he's having to deal with so much and my little sister being a lazy, unhelpful little brat isn't helping him at all. Ok I guess a better way to explain how they are is look at the kids that have been on Super Nanny.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I have the same problem with my 12 year old son. We adopted him in 6/07. My husband passed away in 10/07. But my son had anger problems before my hubby died. We have tried everything from in home intensive services from the boys and girls home of Missouri. He has also been hospitalized twice. He has seen counselers and at present he is in a boys home. They seemsed to think his stay there will be about 6 to 9 months. I sugest you dad start with counseling and talking to your peds dr. They really can help. It is a long road and I am not sure will it will lead. Sounds like your sister needs more help than as a family you all can give. Have your father talk to your doctors there is help out there.

    Answer by momof6brats at 9:51 PM on Jan. 28, 2009

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