Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it cheating if. . .

Is it cheating if you think about someone else to get in the mood? And I don't mean someone real or accessible. Someone like a movie star.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Depends....are you willing to tell your s/o that you do that? If not, yea it ranks up there.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 9:29 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Its not cheating. Cheating is falling in love with someone else, or actually having physical contact. Its normal to fantasize. Men do it all the time, doesn't mean they desire or love their SO any less.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:30 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • nah that's just fantasizing. there's nothing wrong with that.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:30 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I don't know if it's cheating, that's kind of an iffy one. It's not really, but if you start thinking about someone you could get, then you're getting into dangerous territory. Do you have to do this EVERY time? If so, I'd be more concerned about the physical problem or relationship problem that is causing you to not feel attracted to him.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:31 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • um, no not at all.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:32 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • i say not even close. cheating has to be real, whether its touching or feelings. fantasizing is healthy and natural
    ch2727

    Answer by ch2727 at 9:37 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I'm on the fence on this one because if I HAVE to think about someone else to get in the mood to be with my hubby, that's just not right, the physical attraction is gone (my guess is because you want him to look more like whoever it is that you're fantasizing about instead of the man you fell in love with). If I found out my hubby had to think about someone else to work himself up to being with me.. I'd feel horrible, unattractive, unloved, unwanted and so much more. Maybe you should close your eyes and just think about what your hubby is doing instead? Concentrate on the feeling instead of picturing someone else.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:42 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • oh good lord people, a little fantasizing is totally normal and it doesn't signal a lack of attraction or a fatal flaw in her marriage. don't let this guilt invade your bed - someone is bound to cost this poor mama an orgasm over guilt. lol fantasies are normal. don't feel bad.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:45 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • No, not cheating. It's unreasonable to ask anyone to give up a fantasy in their head. We as ladies can't control everything. A movie star is inaccessible, so no worries. I know there's plenty of women out there with a better something than me, why not let the hubby get geared up, for action with me.
    doublefistin

    Answer by doublefistin at 10:08 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I think it's normal to fantasize, but not to HAVE to do it to get in the mood EVERY time. Just want to make sure that my comment wasn't taken the wrong way. People would be lying if they said they never do it at all but I don't normally think of someone else to get myself in the mood fro hubby, but I have thought about it during the day before he got home and was in the mood thinking about it. And I think if any of the men said they didn't, they'd be lying too. But I don't want to have to think about someone else to be able to get in the mood, that's a sign of underlying problem with attraction.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:21 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.