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How can I get my stubborn 15 yr old daughter to be respectful towards mom?

I have a 15 yr old daughter who is really stubborn, irresponsible, back talks to me constantly and doesnt not like to be home and spend time w/ family. She hardley talks to me. Only talks to me when she wants money, or permission to go out w/ her friends, other than that, when she comes home from school just stays in room, texts friends and is on computer all day. She does not take me serious. She tells her friends that all we do is argue, scream at her, argue, and ground her. That is not the case.. She used to be sweet. Was always with me and would tell me everything in her life. Now its like she did a 360 and totally changed. She's doing awsome in school though no problem there. But at home its another story. I try to reach out to her. but she wont let me. It's getting to the point where I feel where total strangers. I feel she hates me as well... Please help??? =(

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ALMITA132

Asked by ALMITA132 at 10:39 AM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Its really normal. Adolescents start looking for their own identity and individuality at that age and that makes them rebel. What you need to do is get involved in her life whether she likes it or not. Maybe plan a concert trip and have her invite one or two friends. You can go to a small venue and let her choose the band. By doing that you get to meet her friends, listen in on their convos while driving and get a sense of what she is into and what shes doing. Once you get your foot in the door its easier to get them involved in other things and have a greater respect for you. Right now youre just mom and uncool. Show her your not.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:42 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I had that problem with my fifteen year old a few months ago. She told me she would treat me the way she thought I should be treated, not with respect. I told her that I treated her with respect and I deserved the same. I told her if she wanted to treat me that way, not a problem. She would get the basics from me until she turned eighteen. I took away her electronics, phone etc. I told her I would clothe, feed and take care of her, that's it. Wouldn't you know she changed her mind very quickly. It's now yes maam, no maam, the sweetest little girl you'd ever want to know.

    We also make sure we stay in our girls' lives and do things with them all the time. We have lots of family time together.
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 11:34 AM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Okay...so let me get this straight. She yells at you, back talks you , disrepects you, disrespects your mother and you still give her money, a cell phone and computer time??? I would quietly remove all things that you are paying for except her bed and a few clothes until she can get past the entitlement issue. When you violate rules, you lose your right to privacy and priviledges. You can't make her respect you in her heart, but bless god, you can make her show it. Toughen up mom. I have had to do this very thing the last few weeks and its been like having a new kid. Three weeks without a cell phone will do wonders for an attitude. She still does not have the computer and she certainly doesnt have any outings planned. I think she got the message that I wasnt tolerating it. We are going to counseling too very soon.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I had the same issue with my daughter who is now 16. I can tell you it gets better.
    The best advice that was given to me was to pick my battles. What is that you say?
    Well instead of arguing ALL THE TIME, let the small things slide. For example:
    My daughter would get angry at me when I would ask her to do chores. She would sigh and close cabinet door roughly, yata yata yata. THEN she'd slam her bedroom door once she was in . I USED to go in there and argue with her about disrespecting the house and me.
    All she would do was sigh again and say the infamous "whatever" and no one won.
    Well I started ignoring the little temper tantrums and peace is now in the household. I do get on her with stuff that matters but it seems she is learning to respect us more because we're not arguing all the time.

    Dr. Phil's How to build a phenominal Family book is GREAT
    TexasSweetheart

    Answer by TexasSweetheart at 1:27 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • my 16 yr old son, talk about mouthy... i took his game cube, cut the cord off, took the playstation, cut the cord off, took his controllers, cut the cords off, had his cell phone service turned off, took the tv from his room.. and told him all im required to do by law is house, clothe and feed him, if you dont like it.... theres the door>>>>>>>>>>>. hes told me too many times "i hate u".
    Cal311

    Answer by Cal311 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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