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What to do when you feel like your MIL is trying to break up your marriage?!?!

My MIL is coming to stay with us for 10 days! She was here 5 months ago and I dont feel that my relationship with my husband has been the same since 8( I am convinced this lady is trying so hard to cause big stress between me and my husband. My husband is as blind as can be and gets mad if I tell him how I feel about this. How do I survive these next 10 days without more harm to my marriage?

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deanna80465

Asked by deanna80465 at 3:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I have the short and simple answer for that when my husband and I got married we had a similar problem, well all you can do is leave them out of your lives [as a married couple] if your husband wants to see his mom fine but just be standoffish to her. The truth is she'll either change and learn to accept your marriage or she won't and you shouldn't have to put kids into the middle of that!
    Tayleina

    Answer by Tayleina at 3:42 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • What is it she does that causes this stress? Is he an only child/her only son? My mom explained to me when I got married that I have to try and understand from my MIL perspective (don't have to put up with it, just need to try and understand it). If she says hurtful things to you/about you in front of your kids, then there is a problem, and she needs to stop. If your husband refuses to listen, sign both of you up for a counseling session or two. He is your husband and needs to protect you. Try sitting him down and getting his take on it first. Try not to be accusing of his mom (do you like it when he makes comments about your mom?). Try to say things like, "I'm really bothered by.... why do you think your mom does/says that sort of thing?" Or, "It really hurts me and I feel abandoned when your mom does... and then you don't seem to notice how I'm feeling." That lets him know that you are upset without putting too much blame on your MIL. :)
    hallen08

    Answer by hallen08 at 3:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Even if she doesn't like you, she probably knows that she can't do anything about it and if she doesn't let her know! Be subtle of course, she will realize that she can't get to you if you don't let her, just act like it doesn't bother you a bit that she is there--just as long as she doesn't make a habit of staying 10 days at a time- once a year is fine, but anymore and i would have to address that with my husband, even the nicest in-law can outstay their welcome!
    akayday

    Answer by akayday at 5:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

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