Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

can you spoil a newborn?

my son is 3 weeks old and seems like all he wants to do is be held. when you put him down he crys, my boyfriend says we need to break him of that, is he really spoiled... what can i do to help?

Answer Question

Asked by CJ121808 at 12:30 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • OH my gosh............A newborn needs to be held. They NEED IT.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • you can't spoil a baby, period!
    babies cry because they need something, they are unable to use words to communicate their needs.
    if your baby is crying and stops when you hold them than it's pretty clear that they NEED to be held at that point in time.

    just trust your instincts. :)

    Answer by heatherama at 12:33 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Nope you cant spoil a new born. EVER. Heres the deal. Your baby lived in you for 40 weeks and always felt secure, heard your voice etc. Now the baby is here and nothing has changed for the baby. The baby still needs to feel secure, loved, held and to be near you. For some reason alot of moms think once the baby is here they just instantly know they wont be held and will be content in a crib. That isnt the case.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:36 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • No!! A newborn can never be spoiled. Holding is good.

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • You can't spoil a newborn, it's impossible. At 3 weeks old, when they're just crying like that of course, first see if he's hungry(they do eat a lot), if he's clean and dry and if he's hot or cold or if he needs to be burped.
    If everything seems ok and he's just cranky, you can try keeping him in a carrier so that he can be held and you can get some stuff done. Also, I know my son LOVED certain songs. Like if I would put on John Legend, he'd always calm down. He also loved it when people sang Total Eclipse of the Heart(LOL, my sister started that). Anyway, 3 weeks is too little to be spoiled.

    Answer by Paesana82 at 12:38 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Let the child make the decision. Loveing and holding makes a secure child. Eventually, the child will determine it's own independence.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 12:40 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Never can a newborn that's up to three months imo be spoiled. The only physical strength they have is to cry! I agree the baby misses your safe warm uterus. Until they're preschoolers, about, nurturing is taking care of them not teaching the baby or child to take care more of themselves. Hold that little one!! Get a snugli. Tell bf to wear earmuffs and take care of the baby too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Nope. As the PP's said, you definitely cannot spoil a newborn. They don't know how to manipulate you either, so when they cry, they genuinely NEED something. Being held, loved, and comforted is something that newborn babies THRIVE on and need lots of! Hope this helps some!

    Answer by srhmldndo at 12:41 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Honey, Im not being mean or judging you. Mabey you and your boyfriend should look into parenting classes? I would be more then happy to help you look for classes and other help for first time mom's if you'd like. Just contact me :).

    Answer by mistynights234 at 12:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • OMG Honey, that baby isn't even use to not being a part of your body yet, and your boyfriend wants him to "break him" of his needing you? Any child rearing philosphy that involves the phrase "break them" is so seriously flawed, I don't even know where to begin. Yes, you can spoil a baby, but you do it by not giving the love they need, and by not teaching them the right values. Teaching them that you love them is a good value, therefore it is not spoiling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.