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Anyone ever experienced an uncontested divorce?

My husband of 20 years has been having a affair with an 18 y/o and he's 41! Not only is having an affair but mid-life crisis and a possible sex addiction. Our children are 12 (son) and 15 (daughter). We have been seperated for almost 4 months now and I've been going to counseling to help me cope. I loved him with all my heart and divorce is not what I ever wanted. It's been all fun/games to him up until now, he's starting to struggle financially and hasn't shown any attempt to reconcile. He wanted to know what my feelings were about him preparing his own uncontested divorce and paying for it, like $250.00. This is very hard and I really don't see me ever being able to trust him again, too many lies and so much betrayal and he's pierced his tongue, listening to The Misfits and is with a girl only 2 years older than our daughter! I now feel strongly that a divorce is un-avoidable. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Get your own lawyer. You need to make sure you get child support and you could be entitled to alimony. Most states if he earned more, you were married more then 4 yrs give you alimony. If he does his own divorce he can just put whatever he wants on there. If you dont trust him why would you with this? I went through the same thing and things will get better. Its a long road but protect yourself. If you need an ear or advice let me know. I have been there done that.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I had an uncontested divorce but your shoes are much different than mine were. First you are married for 20 years, you maybe able to get permanent alimony. In my state you would get it.
    Getting divorce is not an easy process when it comes to the children, your assets, the home, if he has a retirement plan, everything...the list goes on and on. ...and you being a woman I would highly recommend you hiring an attorney. I know you are hurting but what a big turn off that your husbands girlfreind is 2 years younger than your daughter. Keep going to counceling to better yourself and to become the strongest woman you may not know yet.....will become......

    Answer by Dannee at 1:17 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • PLEASE SEEK LEGAL ADVICE!! There are no "uncontested" divorces when you have 2 kids and 20 years of marriage under your belt. If he is suggesting this, it's because he wants to screw you over. Don't fall for it!! Get your own lawyer and don't make any deals or agreements until you talk to one!!!

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 3:06 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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