• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stay at home mom needs to be "ME" again!!

I am so busy with the kids, hubby, sports, school, doctors, bills and home that I just dont seem to be ME anymore. I always let myself take the backseat to everything else....even changing my hair apt (which I never make time for) so my hubby can "get things done around here". We never have US time, and I never have ME time....to the extent that I have few friends and no close fam to speak of.

When I try to make time to be ME again and I start to feel good about myself and my choices again my husband always has me "jump back into things". He almost makes me feel bad for taking time to myself although he's never admit to doing it on purpose.

How do I get back to being me again when I am so busy being everything to everyone all the time!!!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by MommaD2 at 1:23 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Tell hubby one Saturday Sunday morning when he's gonna start his 'thing' that you have to do errands THEN. Just leave. Two hours later come back refreshed. If you give him a choice he'll deny you your right - to get private time for yourself like he demands and gets for himself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Keep in mind that eventually they will be out of the house and you will have nothing to do but be you... and it might be rougher than you think. I would say volunteer some where. Is your husband going to pout over you doing charity work? And mostly, plan for each month: One date night- one guys night out- one girls night out- and one big family outing. That way you tie in every one's needs and can have fun doing it :) Good Luck! I know it is easy to loose yourself in it... Also you might try tying some "you" into the regular routines? Like audio books for in the car and getting creative with mundane tasks: Spice up dinner, wear a silly new hat, vacuum in high heals or put make up on to run to the school. Anything you can do to pencil yourself in a bit more without living yourself the option of feeling guilty, kwim?


    Answer by CooksWife at 1:35 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Put it on your calendar. Schedule a time for YOU and keep it. If mom frazzles out...then what's going to happen? I'm not talking about bugging out for an entire day (although when my kids are older I am SO doing it) but an hour for lunch with a friend, to get a hair cut, a couple hours to see a movie by yourself.

    Sit down with your husband and tell him that if you don't starting getting some time every week to do something on your own, then you might just have a breakdown!! :-) And then he'd have to take care of the house and kids while you're off recuperating in a psych hospital!! :-) Alone. Blissfully alone. Hey...maybe it wouldn't be so bad. LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.