"Autistic Child" vs. "Child with Autism"

I would like to start by saying I have an autistic child.

Recently during a training at work, someone stated "Parents of children with autism do not like to hear 'autistic child', they are children first and should be called "children with autism". I snorted and said "Really? I doesn't matter to me".

Then today, on a message board (not CM) someone had their pantyhose all in a knot because someone referred to an 'autistic child' in their post. The post wasn't derogatory about an autistic children, but the person said "My son is a CHILD first! He is not an 'autistic child', he is a 'child with autism'. Please keep this in mind for future reference."

I have no problems with my son being referred to as an 'autistic child'. He is a wonderful boy, who while can be challenging, is a joy in my life. And while he is a child, he is obviously on the spectrum. Autism is part of who he is and I have no problems with that. Why do some people get so offended when their children are called 'autistic children'?

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Asked by layh41407 at 3:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (16)

Because our societ has made everyone oversensitive victims that have to be overly concerned with their emotional health.

Here's a clue people: whether you say autistic child or child with autism does NOT change either of these things: a) that is your child, and b) they have autism. I promise you, whatever phrase people use, I'm quite sure people are aware that what they are looking at is a child and not a robot, a droid, an alien, etc. Seriously.

I have a child with PDCD, a mito disorder. She's my PDCD kid. She would not be who she is without the PDCD so yes, it does in fact define who she is,just like having autism defines the personality of an autistic child. AND THAT'S okay!!! Saying "child with autism" is almost like you're apologizing or ashamed of it.

Answer by lifetimelove at 3:19 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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a few weeks ago, someone on here referred to autism as... having The autism....man! that broke hell loose
my child has autism
i prefer a child with autism over autistic child

it puts the child first over the disorder

BUT.. if someone uses those words and does not have ignorant behavior - i let it pass
if someone uses the preferred term and makes ignorant statements- then i have an issue

it is more PC to say child with autism, but it is intent, not the PC terms that matter

now the woman who said... The Autism, was so ignorant and made comments of "would you let your child play with a child who had The Autism....LOL like it was contagious

Answer by fiatpax at 3:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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It's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. There's no logic to it. "Autistic child" and "child with autism" both contain a subject ("child") with a modifier ("autistic" or "with autism." ) Saying the word "child" first does not make the word "child" more important than the word "autism," but it does make the word "autism" more memorable, being the last thing that you hear.

Answer by SWasson at 3:23 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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my child has autism
my child has a beautiful smile
my childhas a super sense of humor

stating that my child HAS this or that, (to me) makes it something that is only a part of her

Answer by fiatpax at 3:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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i have a friend, one of her three kids has a heart condition
i never refer to that child as
the heart condition child
that would be weird
he is a child who is silly, a great climber, and he has a heart condition

Answer by fiatpax at 3:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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I prefer to say I live with ADHD but I am not ADHD. I am not my disorder. I don't correct people but it is my prference. I don't say I have a bipolar scheduled for 2:00. I say Mrs. Jones is sceduled for 2:00. I work as a professional in a medical setting. I am aware that people often do not define themselves by their disabilities or even think of themselves as disabled. But I listen to what language parents use and try to remember to use what they are most comfortable with. P.C. stands for polite, compassion, consideration. I try my best to be those things when I meet with families. Honestly, I want my professionals who care for me to do the same. My son lives with processing disorders....I don't really think of him as his disorder first. I think of him as my child who also happens to have these difficulties. But I can't imagine saying this is my brain disordered child.

Answer by frogdawg at 3:52 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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I have a child with autism and don't which term is used

Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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I prefer the term child with autism as well. My oldest has autism and I don't get upset when someone says he's autistic, but somehow it does seem more defining of who they are when you call them autistic as opposed to having autism.

Answer by missanc at 3:16 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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Honestly I have probably said in the past autistic child...I never meant anything by it I just never thought about it offending anyone. Just like if I say to my husband "our son is being a bratty child today" That doesn't mean I think he is a brat first and then a child....Kwim? I didn't know that parents of children with autism get offended by this....

Answer by LoViNmYbAbIeSs at 3:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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Not that I'm sayin that you're ashamed of your child by saying "child with autism". I just think that it can come across that way.

Answer by lifetimelove at 3:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2011
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