Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do? My Mother doesn't Like my Fiance'....

because he's 19.5yrs older than me & he's black. Mind you, I'm Cuban & I'm 21. He & I have been togetherfor 2yrs now. She wants me to leave him. I refuse to do so. He is only 1 of a few whom & feel safe & protected with. The age difference & the race difference doesnt bother me at all whatsoever. We all bleed red, right? When cut, aren't our tissues still pink? Do I have a solid reason to be Pissed? Whats your opinion?

Answer Question
 
Barb87

Asked by Barb87 at 4:10 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (116 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • my opinion?! tell your mother to mind her own business.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 4:12 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Youre the one living, sleeping and in a relationship with him not her. I wouldnt worry about what she thinks. Its your life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:15 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • My father HATED my now DH when he realized he was 11 1/2 yrs older than me. I was 18 he was 29 when we got together. I just let it go. And daddy finally came around(yes I still call him daddy at 21 lol) but when he walked me down the aisle, he shook my DH hand and said im sorry, and she is all yours now so be good to my baby. I broke down. We had to pause the wedding so I could compose myself. But dont b mad over it. Parents will always want what is best for their kids. Just let her know that you are happy and if you ever become unhappy you will leave.
    aDIVASmommy

    Answer by aDIVASmommy at 4:15 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Your mother isn't the one in the relationship. The two of you are the only ones you need to please. If your mother really cares about you and loves you, she will see how happy he makes you and eventually get over it. If not, then oh well, just worry about yourself. Have you asked her why she doesn't like him? It sounds like you are assuming it's because of age and race. But maybe she has other concerns. I would ask her about them without trying to argue with her. Then try to calmly talk about it with her. But really, it doesn't matter how other people feel as long as you and the guy are happy.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 4:16 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • You have to live your own life and you are old enough to do that. Don't tell her to mind her business in a bad way, just say it nice because she is your mom and she probably wants the best for you and in her opinion he's not, but, maybe in her opinion no one will be.If you didn't care about your Mom you wouldn't be on here asking this question.you can say things in a nice way but still get your point across.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Is your mother nuts? Insane? Cuckoo?

    If she's generally a normal person, she may have a point.

    If she's nuts, give her a kiss and get on with your life.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • The age difference is big, but my SO is 13 years older.Just live your life, don't worry about others.If it is a healthy relationship, and you are happy...everyone else can fuck off
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 4:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I know for a fact that the age & race is the thorn in her side so to speak. I have told her to mind her own business nicely the first time. blunt the second time, & I completely cut her out of my life for a year the third time. I think she MIGHT be coming around seeing that she wants to help go back to school. I love my mom, God knows I do, But she's the type of person who gets under your skin within an hour of knowing her.
    Barb87

    Answer by Barb87 at 4:27 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • My relationship with him is beautifully healthy, no screaming, no yelling, no abuse, Everything is 50/50. we talk about EVERYTHING!!! From work to random thoughts that make no sense to life situations to health questions to family history questions. The Perfect Relatioship.
    Barb87

    Answer by Barb87 at 4:31 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Ignore her, it is your life!
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 4:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN