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Anyone dealing with an ex-wife?

My boyfriend (whom is absolutely wonderfull) was married before for a year and a half. They got married when she got pregnant and have been divorced for about 2 years now. Me and him are talking about getting married this summer, but me and her never talk! I want to have some kind of relationship with her, and not make her feel like im trying to make her jealous or anything like that. They have everything worked out, so there is no drama involved, it just seems like she never acknowledges that im around...is this normal? Am i just worrying too much?

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StacyDeAnn

Asked by StacyDeAnn at 4:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You're worrying too much. It's not her place to make you feel welcome. Be happy you're being ignored. Truly.

    And you might want to look into some of the stepparenting groups here on Cafemom.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 4:49 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • yeah, you are worrying too much. She's history. You are Now so since they worked out their stuff no need to even think about her. What do you care if she's jealous anyway? If she could have kept him I'm sure he'd still be with her.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:57 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • True, but I have to see her once a week when we drop off or pick up their daughter since they have 50/50 custoday. Their daughter goes back talking about me, and im sure it kindaa gets to her, i just want her to understand that im not here to try to hurt her in any way...i guess i am jsut over thinking it, or being too nice about it all!
    StacyDeAnn

    Answer by StacyDeAnn at 5:09 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • It doesn't necessarily get to her and if it does it's still not your problem. I say this as a stepmom myself, btw.

    All you should do is be polite at drop off/pick up. Nod a quick hello to her, get the kids in the car and scram.

    Look at it this way, if she likes you, that's great. Let her make any overatures of friendship. If she hates you, make it easier on her by making the contact time as brief and non-invasive as possible.

    Less contact = less friction, normally. And the less you give her, the less she can use against you and your SO.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 5:14 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • You should be happy there is no drama and let the rest just grow. My hubbys ex is PHYCO she post lies about him everywhere (including here by the way)
    ShellyClover

    Answer by ShellyClover at 7:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Trust me the ex is not a relationship you want to spend your time on! I was my ex's best friend for 5 years, and I am telling you..... Save yourself!!! Just be with your husband that is the most important relationship!!! Leave her out of it!!
    jennieo622

    Answer by jennieo622 at 10:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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