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What do I do when my husband and I can't seem to get along for more than 5 minutes without fighting?

He's gone on deployment to Korea and when he comes home in April, he wants to buy a house. Our financial situation is at a critical low..we can barely keep our heads above water with paying rent and bills and ours, his mostly, spending ways...He won't listen to me no matter how hard I try to get through to him..I'm to a point where I don't even want to talk to him AT ALL and I just want to hit something. Please help me....

 
thomasfam14

Asked by thomasfam14 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (14 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Well,if finances are that tough, don't even try to talk to him about buying a home. When he goes and tries to get a mortgage they will tell him. When he starts talking about this and that , just listen and thats it. If he is spending more money than what is needed, get you a little nest egg each payday so you will have what you need for the children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I've tried just telling to go talk to someone..goes right over his head. He's looking at foreclosed homes. Then he says his VA loan will pay for our down payment. He's only an E3 and we have 3 kids. His basepay alone barely covers our rent now an groceries. Luckily we have our BAH but still....its just frustrating and I wanna break down and cry. He is a mama's boy and never even rented his own place before I met him. I get that he wants to take care of us, and I try to tell him lets save up enough first so that we won't go into debt, but he just won't listen. He thinks the market is great right now to buy a house, but when we have to move to a different station, I don't want someone living in my house and ruining it. And we wouldn't be able to pay for both and therein lies the problem of how to sell the house in the world we have right now.
    thomasfam14

    Answer by thomasfam14 at 5:24 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • rather then fighting see if you guys would even qualify cause if you don't the point is mute. i thought the same way as you and my husband said it would be ok. so i prayed. we qualified. we got a home cheap and even though we are both unemployed and struggling we still make the payments and are happy that we have a house so cheap with 30k equity already into it. also you get a tax credit if you buy by july 09 of 7500 dollars. although in 2 yrs you have to start paying that back. i don't care with our regular tax return plus the house credit we might get over 12k in our return which will help pay out our debts and only have regular bills. i prayed very hard and ask the lord do his will. this was his will. so we are getting by.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:05 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • you may never if not now be able to afford a home. this may be your only chance. although i agree if you guys get stationed somewhere else that sucks but you have something of value that usually gives you money back. it's hard to get a loan now and you may fall into that. at least tell him to get pre-qualified. which must likely won't happen.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:10 PM on Jan. 12, 2009