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I really need some advice and or support. I am about to have my forst baby in a few weeks. I am so excited. Everything is new and i am just on cloud nine about being a mom. However this will be my fiances third child. He doesnt seem excited about anything. He hasnt shopped with me, he doesnt even want to feel my belly like i thought he would. This is just not what i expected. Am i in trouble?

He doesnt show any excitement or concern for anything that i am doing. i have spent the last 8 months preparing for this baby by myself. I have been looking forward to this my whole life and i feel like he is ruining it. He is just not responding how i thought he would. Hes just like 'oh, well ive done this before no big deal. However that resulted in 2 previous failed relationships. Am i going to be the third? Im afraid he wont be the dad i thought he would be.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It doesn't necessarily mean that he will be a bad dad. Wait and see. Meanwhile enjoy your little one and give the baby all the love the baby deserves.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:33 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • some men just dont take part in the whole pregnancy thing. This is my second baby but my husbands first hes not super interested in what goes on either. He touches my belly once in a while mainly when we are going to bed he rubs my tummy for a second but as far as really be involved not so much. I asked him to go shoping with me to buy a few things and he pretty much said he didnt care what our kid wore he knew i would pick cute stuff lol. I know he will be a great dad he just doesnt seem to wana shop for baby stuff or wana learn about pregnancy in general. no biggy. keep ur chin up im sure things will change when baby arrives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Some guys just dont get into it. They say a mother falls in love with their child when they are pregnant. A father doesnt until they set eyes on the child. I think thats true.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • My husband and I just had our first. While I was pregnant I would watch my belly for hours and look at all these cute baby things. My husband (never in another relationship) would not show that excitment. I would ask him if he regretted us having a baby because he didn't look thrilled like I was. He said he was very happy, that it was just different for him because the baby wasn't here yet. Once our baby came he has been the happiest proudest father of all. Some guys just don't know how to react because the baby is not inside of them. I have heard this from alot of people. In other words don't worry if he's not all baby crazy if everything else is good.
    momofpurebliss

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 6:37 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Its more real to you because your physically connected ...I'm sure once the baby is born he'll wake up.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 6:37 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I understand where you are coming from but I understand his part too.
    He's on a different level than you. It's not new to him and it is to you.
    It doesn't mean he doesn't care it's just something he has been through twice already.
    Give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him nicely about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • i dont think it really hits the fathers until the baby is actually born and they can hold them... To a mother they are so much more real to us... we can feel them move, and we have that emotion inside us to just love them because we are the ones carrying them... I would wait until he gets to hold the little one in his arms... that's normally what really gets to the guys... remember emotions are high for you now as well. Just keep in mind that the baby is coming, and he will love the baby when he/she comes. I would just focus on your SO and you for now... this may be the last time for a while before you two actually get the spend alone time together again.. Stay health and try not to stress to much... it will be better for you and the baby if you just keep happy thoughts.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Some men don't like when women are pregnant. It in some ways cut him some slack. He may be afraid. Yes, afraid. He has had tow failed relationships. It is natural for you to feel the way you do. I am not taking that away from you. Men have issues about showing feelings sometimes. Enjoy your baby and see what he does. You be a sweetie and see if he comes around. I pray for the best.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 7:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Dont worry! he is just being a man! my husband didnt do anything with me either and it was his first.
    Paty_hotmommy

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 7:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I agree with all these women, men do not show their emotions as women do. When your child is born that is when you will see the joy in your partners eyes. If I were you I would just enjoy the time you have now with your unborn child, because every time is different so what you feel now is a memory you will be able to share with your child as for your partner his memories begin when the baby is born. God bless you and your family.
    HelloKittie1973

    Answer by HelloKittie1973 at 7:33 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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