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Looking for advice, ideas, information, dos & don'ts to throwing an older child adoption shower

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Asked by mel0428 at 6:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (13)
  • I've never heard of such a thing. How old is the child? I don't think there is a right or a wrong. If the child is rather young it will be fine. Be creative. I have heard of a baby shower for an adoptive baby. Just be creative. Tell your friends the age and sex of the child.

    Answer by Godswk at 6:53 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Child is 5. Parents are SO excited! Wanted a child FOREVER! They had the child a brief time as a foster child & now is adopting. I think adoptive parents, mothers, should get the attention that biological mothers get so thought we should do a "shower." Any suggestions on invites, games, food, all the typical shower stuff would be very appreciative! I'm not very creative, that's why I need help. I thought the idea was good but got stuck after that. Also what's the consensus on bringing the child to the "shower?"

    Answer by mel0428 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I think you should leave it up to the child... seeing as though they're 5, they may LOVE the idea of being "showered" with gifts and welcomed by the family and friends, or they may be shy and feel put on the spot. I think it's a cute idea :) Is the child a boy or a girl?

    Answer by lillie023 at 7:11 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I think it's great for the adoptive family to celebrate the joining of a new child. As it is an older child it might be good to consider things from her persepctive as well. You say that her adoptive parents had her as a foster child for a "brief time" - I'm guessing that prior to that she was in another home or with her biological family? If so, she has memories of another version of family that may be very real to her still (positive or negative). As an adoptee myself some of us are especially sensitive (some not) to our other familes and feel guilty for celebrating the now as if we have completely forgotten or no longer care about the past. By all means throw a party - but also think about how to welcome this child without making her feel like her past is no longer important.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 11:28 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Having the child there sounds like a great idea to me. It's like a true welcome home party. I say make it like a welcome home party with decorations and everything! Great idea!!!

    Answer by Jill42721 at 12:14 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Oh I like the welcome home party idea! I think that would be a great party....a 'baby' shower and welcome home party all in one lol! I would go with all the welcome home stuff you could find (streamers, banners, plates, napkins, cups, etc.) and then make sure there were gifts were child (clothes, games, things he/she likes) AND parents (things for the child's room, family time DVDs, games, things like that)!! As this IS a party for ALL of them lol! We had a baby shower for our first daughter when we brought her home at birth, so it was a baby shower. But our second daughter came to us at 6 days old, and was our foster daughter until she was 18 mo old. The day of her adoption we had a big party for her :-)

    Answer by LizClara at 1:22 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • We also did an "adoption party" type event for our daughter. We had her since she was 2 days old from foster care, but the Saturday after her official adoption, we invited all our friends and family over for cake and ice cream to celebrate. We had the adoption decree on display and then had friends sign letters to Riah on cardstock which I then assembled into a scrapbook. We plan on celebrating the adoption day as our Family Day every year. This year we just went to dinner together and had fun.

    Answer by mommytoadam at 7:44 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • A "welcome to the family forever shower" is a great idea! How about games for both the adults and children to play together? I know this family is going to feel so blessed by your love and caring! I know we would have been. Our last placement was of a four year old daughter. Up till that point we had only had sons. I would have been so tickled with a shower, and she would have LOVED the attention!

    Answer by ABMTEAM at 9:44 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Our church gave us an adoption party when we adopted our 3 daughters who were then 5, 6 & 7. It was fantastic. The girls received things like book bags, sleeping bags, photo albums, jewelry boxes, etc that helped them make their room that much more special. Find out what the child enjoys and then have everyone invited including other children that are the same age that they will know thru school, church, etc.

    Answer by baconbits at 10:30 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I threw one for a coworker who was taking in a child who was a teen. So it is done. We all gave things like gift cards and practical items for both dad and teen. We had a nice lunch because it was at work. Now if I were throwing another shower for an older child....I would have so much fun with it. I would not call it a baby shower. Perhaps a welcome home shower. Gift ideas for friends: pillows, comforters, blankets (but for a big kid), gift cards for clothes (but I would give out the sizes if I knew), books, backpack, school supplies, towels for the kid, soaps, shampoos, ect...only again all for an older child or teen. Some age appropriate many things. Board games for family night, movie tickets, restaurant certificates. It is done. And it is great.


    Answer by frogdawg at 12:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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