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What is the matter with these Men? So many relationship questions where the woman is being abused? Where is the self-esteem of Women? Why are women putting up with poor treatment???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jul. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • My thoughts exactly. I hate to hear a woman say: "He cries after he did it..." Ugh...so frustrating...I just want to say to them - Are you so beaten down and blind that you can't stand up for yourself??? I guess that's just my type of personality. It's hard to believe that men still get away with beating their spouses/SO's up...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Are you so beaten down and blind that you can't stand up for yourself???

    Well yes, that is it exactly. They are also brainwashed to believe that they aren't capable of making decisions for themselves. These women need people to help empower them by telling them about the resurces available to them and then letting them make the decision to leave. We don't need to further demean them by blaming them for the abuse they suffer.
    HadassasMommy

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 3:35 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Hadassas?? Are you f*cking kidding me?? At what point did I demean them? I do have to ask what type of woman lets themselves keep getting hit after the first time it happens?! I would stab him in his ballsack if he ever came close to hitting me...but that's just me I guess.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Grow a spine...leave him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I didn't say that you were demeaning them I am saying that too many people blame the abused instead of the abuser. Abuse doesn't usually just start over night. Most women aren't even abused until they already trust their abuser. And it starts with things that they don't see as abuse (like not being allowed to have money or bein shut off from certain people). By the time it escalates to physical violence the abused is so afraid and ashamed and unsure of where to go for help. Then when they try to get help they face people who want to know "Why didn't you leave earlier" Most of these women don't even know that half the money in the bank account legally belongs to them. Moms who don't leave think that they will be without a home, money or a car and then have their children taken away and handed right over to their abuser.
    HadassasMommy

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 5:35 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • If instead of making these women feel like they did something wrong by being abused, we should help educate them on their options. As women we should empower each other with wisdom.
    HadassasMommy

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 5:36 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Grow a spine...leave him.

    Most abusers et their victims to stay by threateneing to kill them, their families or themselves if they leave. As a matter of fact most fatalities of domestic violence occured when the victim tried to leave. Unfortunatly, it isn't as easy as just growing a spine and leaving. It takes a lot to couseling and help to get a victim of abuse to feel safe and strong enough to leave.
    HadassasMommy

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 5:40 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • I've tried to leave...twice. He just begs me to come back. It's overwhelming. I was pressured into the relationship in the first place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • Um...my name is Hadassa's Mommy...lol I don't cuss
    HadassasMommy

    Answer by HadassasMommy at 8:23 PM on Jul. 17, 2008

  • It sounds easy for people to say just get out and leave. The reality is, that some abusive guys will kill you, the kids and the dog. The person being abused is already being vicitmized by the s/o so please lets just keep them in our prayers. It is also hard when he has control of all the money and she has no marketable skills. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before putting them down any further. Many women have been brought up in abusive households and therefore think that it is ok for this behavior to continue. That whole stand by your man or for better or worse.
    SexiFala

    Answer by SexiFala at 2:55 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

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