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how do you handle this

Okay, i have been dating this guy for like 2 months. We finally went to the next step and were going to have sex. we had already been having phone sex for a while and I wanted to have the real thing. He was for it. He came over and we were making out and all was going good except for the fact when it came time to do the deed he couldnt perform. We were fine with oral but even with that his guy would not stand up. I know that he was embarrased because he said that that had never happened to him before. I told him that it was fine. but I knew that he was embarrased. Ithink that he was nervous or something since it was our first time together. Neither one of us are new to this. I should say that he is younger than me by a couple of yrs. It was a little disappointing because I was expecting more.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Well at 2 months I wouldn't be trying to sleep with someone, gross. Maybe he just felt under pressure because it is so soon. Wait it out. I think that sends a vey bad message to the guy. Have more respect for yourself. Giving it up is not gonna make him love you faster or stay around.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Stress will do that to a guy.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • If he's younger than you plus additionally you're both young and depending on where and who was nearby (kids?} that could be why.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • wow to the women above me; she didnt ask for ur judgement; she asked for input ; ur acting like she met the guy and a day later gave it up to him; ugh.

    sweetie dont feel bad about the two month thing; and maybe he was just nervous; maybe the phone sex built him up and wen it came time he just couldnt perform.... if u r into the guy than wait it out and try again; it was prob jus his nerves ya kno.... good luck

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 9:22 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • never mind to the women above me thing... i meant the first women who posted to the question lol... u girls beat me to posting.... sorry anon above me <3

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 9:23 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about it too much...Guys can get performance anxiety sometimes. Just try not to make a big deal out of it and let it go..

    Answer by joeyzgerl at 9:31 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I think it was performance anxiety too, the same thing happened to my now husband our first time. I gave it up a little sooner than you did though, good for you making it two months.

    Answer by ednakrabapple at 10:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • addendum to question:
    well, I should say that we have been talking for 2 months but only really been able to see each other twice. Due to schedules his and mine and the fact that we both have kids from prev. relationships. Mine are with me and his are with him when I am free. We text and talk on the phone a lot. He is a very shy guy. Has been all his life. i should also say that we were childhood sweethearts that were seperated for a while and are now just getting to know each other again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I am dating a guy who is 4 years older then me.....I am 36 and we just had our first time too. He made me feel wonderful and I orgasmed 2 times but he couldn't get off. I felt like perhaps it was me.......offered to perform oral so he could and he said not to worry about it.....we neither one had been with anybody for over a year.....he said, I have healthy self esteem and it happens sometimes. We have had sex successfully 2 times since then and both have been totally satisfied. Prob was performance anxiety......HUGS

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

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