Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Has anyone adopted a baby? How do you pick an agency?

We are considering adoption. We are really having a hard time trying to decide what agency to go with. What kind of questions should we be asking these people? This seems to be a hard process. Not really sure where to start.

Answer Question
 
mommymcmahon5

Asked by mommymcmahon5 at 10:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Have you tried contacting the social service office? The cost of adoption is so high, however, if you try going through the state social services for foster program and ask about their foster to adopt program it will be much cheaper. The program helps you find out first if the placement is the right one for you. You have to take foster parenting classes (PRIDE), have your home inspected, and FBI & Criminal background checks, but once you get certifiied you tell them what you are looking for and they will try to place a child that meets your needs. If you tell them you want to foster to adopt they will place children that will need to be adopted and the state helps pay for some of the legal fees.
    SimplyCreative

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 10:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • We were fortunate in being introduced by a friend to our son's first mom. We did use a lawyer, and we did have to hire a social worker for the adoption, however, the entire costs were less than $1000, and we are the most blessed parents in the world to have him. We offer open adoption, although his mom chooses not to visit.
    sizesmith

    Answer by sizesmith at 12:32 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I agree with the prior recommendation to consider foster care adopt. Here is a good link to independent ratings of adoption agencies based on experiences of Adoptive Parents and Birth Parents: http://www.adoptionagencyratings.com/adoption-agency-rank.htm

    You may also find help with the types of questions to ask from adoptive moms in some of the adoption related groups here on Cafe Mom. Even those with great experiences can suggest things they wish they had known ahead of time - it's always nice to get a helping hand from those who have been down this road.
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 12:36 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I adopted my children through foster care. They (twins) were 3 days old when I got them. The adoption cost us $100 for new birth certificates, but the state reimbursted that cost, also the children recieve free health insurance and a monthly adoption assistance stipend until they turn 18.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 3:26 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • We originally chose an agency that I felt comfortable with because I had a friend who worked there. It was an agency that focused on international adoptions only and it had a very good reputation. I knew already a lot about the agency and felt very comfortable with that direction. But one day I was reading a local free parent magazine and instantly I knew what agency I wanted to go with. The entire magazine that month was devoted to adoption and had excellent options available and interviewed families who chose those options. There was an article for every different option available in the discussion. It was awsome. cont...

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • so we went with an organization but it was not an adoption agency. This organization specialized in black, bi-racial, and special needs adoptions. Hard to place children. Most private lawyers and domestic agencies have a ton of clients who are waiting for a healthy white infant. So when they have an expectant mother who is African-American or a birth mother who does not know what the ethnicity of her baby may be (it does happen - no judgments) then they do not have a single couple on their client list willing to be matched. That is where they call this organization for portfolios of perspective adoptive parents. I have to tell you it was overwhelming. From the moment we started this journey we would get 5 or 6 requests a day from lawyers who wanted to meet us on behalf of their client - the expectant mother - and you just can't say yes to everyone.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:39 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • cont..In the end we arrived home with our healthy infant son and he is two now. But I will say originally we were matched with a child who the expectant mother did not know if the child would be bi-racial or not. When the lawyer called he asked what we thought of adopting a white child. To be honest - we never even considered it. So I had to say, Ahhh I'll get back to you. I don't think I'm prejudiced against white babies....but let me ask my husband if he is okay with a white baby. It was a shock. Because the vision we had in our dreams was not what might actually be. So we decided we could do a white baby (we are white). It didn't work out but we have the child that we were meant to raise. He is happy, healthy, and such a cutie pie.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:45 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Yep and we were lucky I guess. We've know Bryson's birthmother for 10 yrs and are Godparents to her older child. She called us one day and asked if we'd be interested.
    Otherwise, I'd have to agree with the rest about social services...agencies these days...I've been hearing bad things (i'm hopeful that not ALL agencies are deceitful to families).
    My dad and step mother are going through social services in the foster-adopt program. The state paid for everything. Except court costs.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • And the parental rights are already terminated to the children they will be getting.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • You can spare yourself a great deal of possible grief if you adopt only when a child's parental rights have already been terminated. As for questions for an agency, carefully pay attention to how agencies treat pregnant women considering adoption and how ethically they approach and treat them. Do they "recruit" birth mothers? Do they offer many financial enticements? Do they encourage pre-birth matching early on? Do they guarantee a baby quickly? All of these are red flags.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:44 AM on Jan. 14, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.