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A few questions about the hispanic heritage...

I am not trying to be racial at all, these are just a few observations that i have made while at work... i was wondering if someone could explain the why's of it to me.

1. When a hispanic couple comes up to the counter, the male does the majority of the talking... do the females not have a voice?
2. I am married into a hispanic family, and my husband and his father don't have a , familial relationship... infact they don't even talk, haven't for almost 18 months. And the only reason they talked then was because my son was born in feb of 07. My father-in-law acts as if i dont even exist in this world, (that doesn't bother me so much,) but it bothers me that he doesn't want anything to do with his grandson, doesn't even acknowledge that he's there...
Not that any of this will change my love or dedication to my husband, i am just curious. Maybe i might just be looking at this an odd way.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I'm not sure... but I think you should talk to your husband about your feelings... Voice your opinions.. women have rights now... and we should use them :).. it sucks that your FIL wants little to do with your family... but you are probably better off that way... most men like that are better left alone. Either way aside from the counter thing, it seems like you have a good relationship with your DH. Don't let the small things get to you, and if you have to, speak up.. Good Luck though :)

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:42 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • I understand your curiosity. It's reasonable. I don't have the answer but I will say that there are differences in many cultures. So don't feel bad about asking. At any rate, there is nothing wrong with letting the man speak for the couple in the business setting. It WORKS in relationships in my opinion. As long as the wife does have the opportunity to voice an opinion in discussing the issue with her husband in private.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:55 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

  • Hispanic families are very patriaricle(meaning run by the father/man).Of course this is not true for all families but some.It sounds like maybe it is good that FIL and hubby do not talk, maybe dh is trying to break that cycle of the woman not having a voice?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My fatheris Mexican and My mother is answer to #1 most hispanic households are predominatly run by the father, the woman does not speak as a respect thing. However, this mostly holds true for those families thathave immigrated to this country, should they have been a second or third generation this is not always the case. #2 my grandfather is a wonderful man, he has 6 children and 21 grandchildren with myself being the oldesf of those grandchildren.THEY ARE NOT EMOTIONAL CREATURES. My Grandfather has hugged me only becaus ei love hugs and have hugged him first and to get him to say i love you is like pulling teeth... he doesnt say it, you are just suppsed to know it. My father is the same way to an extent, but my mother,my sister, and i have been working on him for the past 21 years so he has softened up a bit. Any other questions feel free to write me!

    Answer by JacquiV at 12:55 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • My daughters dad is chilean, pretty weird.....his dad was a drunk apparantly and not big on showing love to his kids and his son has followed in his footsteps......his son is great womanising and such but not good with the kids and he has 4 and has disowned 3 of them now......The men are usually womanisers, out at clubs while the wives are at home.......I have some great female chilean friends and there r some great latino men and sadly there r some shockers out there too......... u r witnessing some weird latinos, they do exist. no offence, just speaking from my personal experience and it took a few yrs to see it all too........

    Answer by helloistaken at 4:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I come from a hispanic household so here are the answers:

    Question #1 - Carribean households and Americanized Latin cultures (raised in the US) generally don't have the man rule. It is usually either/or who do the talking. Like JacquiV said... this happens a lot in cultures that have immigrated to the US for example South American cultures (not defending them nor bashing them... to each their own and I respect whatever they may choose). This usually happens in macho households where the man wants to rule everything.

    Answer by girlletmetellu at 11:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Question #2 - Maybe your DH and FIL don't speak because of this Macho attitude that he may have. Maybe he doesn't agree with interracial dating and/or the fact that your DH isn't as Macho as he would like him to be. Honestly, if someone is not going to care for their grandchild or is going to bring that negative vibe, maybe it's better off they stay away.

    Not all hispanic, latino... whatever they may call it are the same. Just like every other culture, you have those extremists and you have the smooth ones. Just be wise with the one you choose. :-)

    Answer by girlletmetellu at 11:25 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

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