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Would you let hubby look at porn magazines or go to strip clubs?

I have been with him for 10 years. He doesn't even push the isuue, but when the occasional bachelor party comes around I always tell him he is NOT allowed to go if there are strippers involved. Would you go to a strip club with him? I caught him a couple years ago with some "big wigs" at a strip club when he was supposed to be at a dinner meeting and come right home. Had a gut feeling he was gonna try and pull something sneaky and sure enough I followed him out of the restaurant parking lot and right into the "gentlemens" club across the street. I let him go in and order a drink then made my move. I walked up to him and dumped his drink all over him and told him to follow me to the door. I know this story isn't really part of my question but I still get a smile on my face when I think of the look he had when he realized he was CAUGHT! In front of his bosses too- it was great!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Absolutely not! No, I do not allow my hubby to go to strip club, look at porn or hell, even go to Hooters. Why??? Respect. If a man honestly respects you completely and whole-heartedly, he wouldn't need to do these things. Does he still love you if he does these? I'm sure he does. Are those things better than actual cheating? Yeah, I guess so. But for me, it's all about commitment and respect. He certainly wouldn't want you to be going to the next Chip N Dales, would he? Doubt it. Last time my DH went to a place like that was right after we got married, for an "after" bachelor party...when I casually asked him where they went, he froze and I knew. I didn't speak to him for days. LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • i dont care at all, but im pretty lenient as to what my husband can do because i know he would never do anything to hurt me, but i also have a theory to relationships... there is always someone running and chasing. if i was chasing i would COMPLETELY do that, but in this relationship im running so i dont have to KWIM? im really not trying to be mean im just giving my perspective!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:56 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • As long as DH is honest with me I don't care. He has invited me to go with him, but I don't have any interest in going. Now when the males come to town every once in a blue moon, me and my girls go. We have enough trust in each other to know we bring it home to each other. Honestly they are just looking at someone, not having sex with them. DH also makes fun of a lot of the dancers.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 2:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • For a bachelor party... yeah.... just as a weekend thing a couple of times a month... no. I wouldn't go with him either.... just because I think myself a lady first in public situations. The story is not funny... it's kinda sad. You humiliated your husband in front of his boss? That's nothing to be proud of. He certainly should have paid the piper for his lie, but that level of humiliation probably hurt him way more than it taught him anything. Looking at magazines? Why not... unless there is an addiction situation. I'm surely hoping that you are not; but you come off very controlling... I wonder how much longer your marriage will last.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:00 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • WOW - you did that in front of his boss?

    That is awfully disrespectful, IMHO.

    I helped out in a tax office and the accountant had a lot of strippers as clients - they were all sweet women who had very hard lives. Obviously, these are just the ones I met, but I enjoyed helping them and realizing that it was really ONLY a job to them.

    To me, it's all in the intent. You can cheat at the grocery store by lusting after someone or you can be faithful in a strip club while having a drink with your friends.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:03 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • aliciatron, thanks for your response but what is KWIM?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I don't think she sounds controlling at all....I prob wouldn't have done that to his boss. I think I would have sat in his car or something and scared the crap outta him. LOL j/k But I would have just confronted him when he came home, not in front of his bosses.

    I don't let my hubby watch or go to any of that crap either. Anything else that doesn't involve other half naked women...sure. He can do anything he wants. I agree with 1st anon poster...respect. Now if she limits a lot of other things for him, then yeah...maybe it's controlling. But that is really the only thing hubby and I have an agreement on...and I am def not the controlling type. lol
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 2:07 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • KWIM = Know What I Mean =)
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 2:07 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Pacemyself and wimsey- I didn't ask for your opinion on me or how long my marriage will last. I have nothing against strippers, in fact I have had a few friends who were and they told me what goes on with some of the "clients" that come in to the clubs. Sure some of them come in and just do their job-dance. But if you think some of those girls aren't looking for a little extra cash after the club closes - you are crazy! And wimsey- what i think is sad is that he lied to me and was planning on staying out till who knows when while i'm at home with his two kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • ANON - sorry, but you do seem rather controlling.

    You are even trying to control the answers to your question!
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:18 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

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