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What should I do?

I'm so in love with my husband that I belive I'm looking past the obvious and being stupid. My new husband, someone I dated many years ago, has a porn problem. He watches it almost every night in his hotel while he's away at work and get's off. Then he comes home and treats me almost like a porn star........what I mean is he wants me to do some of the shit that those women do like, squirting, having him eat my asshole, coming on me instead of in me and I just feel more and more like he wants me to be like on of those women instead of the loving woman that I am, who just wants nice clean sex and not have to wash nasty sheets every day. I can's have nice sheets or bedspreads because of that and it's starting to make me uncomfortable...............the total package, not just the sheets.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It kinda sounds like he might be a sex addict. Addictions to sex can stem from abuse. Just putting it out there...or he may just like sex...a lot. Maybe approach him with your fantasies, you've obliged him. Tell him you want it slow and intense, that having him be that close is what will get you to squirt. Wow....that's such a nasty word. Porn is a novelty, is isn't real. Remind him that those girls are acting. Eating ass is just sloppy.

    Answer by Farrahann at 2:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Its a scary thing that the man you love is kind of changing into someone you didn't think they were...I would tell him that if you can't respect me for who I am, your wife, and you can't be respectful to me and for my body, then we won't do this anymore until you can learn to do that. Simple as that..I had sort of the same husband has been gone in Korea for the past 8 months and when he came home for christmas, I had to lay it down to him...and it ended real quick..I can't say what your hubby will do, but that's what I did to my husband and our sex life has been alot better since more porn star in the bedroom thank god! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Serious red flag. I suggest a good counselor. And abstinence for a while until this issue is ironed out.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:04 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • He's been over sexed all his life so this was no surprise to me but I would like to make love instead of having sex, if you know what I mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Totally agree with PaceMyself.

    Does he not get that it's a problem?

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:07 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • When you talk to him, try not to make him feel like a sexual deviant. Just tell him that you are not comfortable with all of the things that he wants. Odds are that if he finds out that these things are not turning you on then it won't be a turn on for him either. If he IS turned on by making you do things you are not comfortable with then you have a whole other set of problems. But I doubt that is the case. Maybe tell (or show) him what you do find appealing. Set up the room very romantic. Light some candles and have nice sheets. Then tell him to let YOU lead. Don't do any porn star stuff you aren't comfortable with, but have a good time.

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:17 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Because I have excepted him for him, I have never asked him to change those habits. He's been with many, many women, over 500 in his lifetime, he's over 50....................use to be a male whore as far as I'm concerned and did ask him to go get checked before we started our relationship. I've seen him in action many years ago, outside bars getting head, etc. so I do believe it when his brother tells me that over 500 is a pretty close count. Maybe it's because of all the skanky women he's been with???

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • It sounds like you knew who he was before you married him and now you want him to be different? That's a pretty big and most often impossible task. Try some counseling because a true addiction won't be fixed by just you talking to him and being romantic and certainly not by abstinence which should NOT exist in a marriage.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:23 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • It kind of sounds like you're a prude. You just want straight sex, nothing exciting. He is bored and wants to have fun. Not just do you wile you lay there. You're going to lose him to someone that will actually satisfy him not just let him do it and be done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Oh no Anonymous, no laying there, I am a total active person who loves sex as well, but I wish that sometimes it would be more love making than raw sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Jan. 13, 2009