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Finding an adopted person's biological parents?

My mother is adopted. She desperately wants to find her biological parents. Her adopted father knows more information than he will give her. All he will tell her is that she was adopted from a Catholic agency. He won't give her the name of or location of the agency. How would one go about getting this information on their own? Anyone have success in any way with this subject? Any advice is appreciated.

I know someone might say "If he doesn't want to tell her, there might be a reason." But my mom is 52, she isn't a little child anymore, she can handle the whatever the truth may be.

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hillary819

Asked by hillary819 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 3, 2012 in Adoption

Level 14 (1,631 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • she needs to sign up with the adoption registry in the state where she was born or adopted- she also needs to figure out what Catholic Agencies are in the area and check there too Back then adotions were closed so they really dont have to tell her anything even if she finds the right agency.

    It is very possible that she was adopted from soemone in the family and back then secrects were taken to the grave and he may still feel that way. I realize the want and need but she may find them and face a disappointment like she has never known. I would suggest even at 52 if she is going to look that she needs to have some counseling on how to deal with the emotions good or bad that coem with it.

    I am adopted and have placed a child for adoption so I get both sides of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • facebook is the only way i personally know anyone reuniting with family. you could ask the church. there was a scandal with the curches, adoption, that time period, look it up, basicly they were placing babies of unwed mothers, charging $, not giving the mother the money but gave her healthcare, all closed adoptions, most moved babies from the southern states to the northeast. it was a 20/20 story. hire a p.i..... ?? good luck. i dont see why he wont tell her. her bio mom isnt likely alive if she is 52 so if it gives his child closure, you would think it wouldnt cause any harm to tell her... makes it seem like something weird happened...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 4:00 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • She doesn't really need to meet her parents, she just wants to know who they are/were. Figure her bio parents were 18-28, that would make them 70-80 today, so I believe that they very well could still be alive. My mother and I are very healthy people...I know lifestyle plays a big role, but genetics does as well and those good genes had to come from somewhere.
    All she wants for now is to know who they are. She hasn't made up her mind whether or not she wants to actually meet them. She says she will make that decision once she knows who they are are and even has that option to begin with.
    hillary819

    Comment by hillary819 (original poster) at 4:08 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • her birth certificate....where does it say she was born?

    Mine has my Now parents names on it but the state didnt change. GL
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 4:12 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • Try the birth mom group here on Cafemom they may be able to give you some helpful information. I wish I could think of something that maybe able to help. It is sad that her adoptive father will not give her the information, she has a right to know her biological parents. She should try and talk to him again, and let him know how much this would mean to her. I wish her luck in finding them.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 4:56 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • Check out the group "Adoption Search Resource List" http://www.cafemom.com/group/35065


    Also there's a "search angel" in the Adoption Reunion group called Candy. She might be able to help you:


    http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715/forums/read/9480523/Search_Angel


    Good luck to you both :) 

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 7:45 PM on Jan. 3, 2012

  • Google for Candice Camilleri Johnn. She has a site for people Adopted thru Catholic Charities.

    I'd start checking with the State listed on moms amended Bcert. Some have post adoption units that could help steer her in the direction of the placement agency. It's also wise to know the adoption disclosure law of the State. Know what she's entitled to receive in information about her adoption.
    Your mom is my age, and her Adad is still alive... I am an adoptee who found her mom alive and well. I think a large number of adoptee searchers will want to meet their family. Once I started getting info, it became an obsession to find them.
    The best suggestion I can offer is for your mom to find an adoption search and support group to attend. For me, I could have never done what I did (reunite w 5 sibs, my mom, and a lot of extended family) without my support group!
    DC Metro CUB!
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 3:50 AM on Jan. 4, 2012

  • Have you approached Grandad, asking for info?
    Your Mothers adoption touches you, too. All the things she's missing knowledge of are not available to you, either.

    My kids being 'touched' by MY adoption is absolutely what motivated me to get off my arse and do whatever it took to be able to give them all the info I could possibly find. I lived 35+ years with the consequences of closed adoption and sealed records filling out intake forms at doctors with 'don't know? I'm adopted' and there was no way in hell I'd accept that for my children without trying.
    This adoption search belongs to you, too.
    I hope your mom and her family find the truth
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 4:07 AM on Jan. 4, 2012

  • Have Mom call the States Department of Social Services in her State of birth, They have Adoptions Dept. She can send a formal request her Non-ID from them, She will have to have her request signed at a Notary. If her Adoption was through an Agency, they will direct her to the Correct Agency who handled her Adoption. Remember it's a process and could take weeks to hear back from them depending on what State she was Born/Adopted in. Post adoption services can be backlogged so be patient. Her formal request will need to include her full name (Maiden) given by her AP's, DOB, County of birth, Her Adoptive Mother Maiden name. Also include in her request for Consent for Contact forms & Sibling Waiver Forms two (2) each to file at the State and @ the County level.

    I do Adoption Reunions , If She was Born in Calif. This is her lucky day as I have access to Ca. Records. I NEVER charge for my services, I'm a Reunited Adoptee myself.
    Here_2_Help_U

    Answer by Here_2_Help_U at 10:42 AM on Mar. 1, 2012

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