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Worst mother ever.

Last night I took my 3 year old to a restaurant and he was acting out. He wouldn't sit in his chair, kept running around, laying on the floor, etc. I repeatedly told him to be a good boy and explained to him he needed to stay in his chair until everyone was finished eating. Well that didn't work he kept running around so I took him in the bathroom and explained to him that he wasn't being very good and he told me that he would be a good boy.. WELL he still wasn't so he was laying on the ground and I picked him up and pinched his shoulder firmly to see if this method would work. Well he screamed and I think I did it WAYYY to hard because immediately it bruised up. I felt terrible. Spanking has never worked for him and neither does time-out so I thought this would help. Well I feel like the worst mother ever cause I left a mark on my child! What does everyone think.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • You know, you live and you learn....I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 1/2 yr old boy and I, too, have done what I call the "vulture death grip" and it didn't work. I felt bad, too. I think that as moms, we let our emotions get the best of us. I don't think that you are the worst mom ever.
    JennRN09

    Answer by JennRN09 at 7:11 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • First, do you let him do whatever he wants at your table at home? When I first became a parent I had tried to have different rules for when we were out and when we were home. My son pulled something similiar and I went home and said enough is enough and rules are the same everywhere and once I enforced the table manners everywhere he never did it again. As far as the bruising a child, it's never good. Next time have your husband step in and if he's not there tell your waitor you will be right back take yourself and the child to the car or bathroom and collect yourself and let the child collect themself. When we get upset it's best to take a time out
    Tabetha_ruh

    Answer by Tabetha_ruh at 7:14 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • Oh please. If that is the worst thing you ever do, you're way ahead of the game. You're not beating him, you're not screaming at him constantly, cursing at him, drinking around him, doing drugs around him (need I go on?)

    I agree with the poster above who asked what you would have done at home. Do you let him act like that at home? If so...you're in for a whole lot of trouble.

    What you do at home you do in public. Period. You cannot have two sets of rules for him and you sure as hell can't have two sets of rules for yourself about how you handle him.

    And as for him being a "good boy". He IS a good boy. He made some poor choices on how to behave....but there is no such thing as a "bad child".
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 7:21 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • thank god my kids never acted out in public i was blessed. my step kids however were a way different story. what i would do is grab them by the ears and drag them to the nearest corner or bathroom and i told them if they didn't straighten up we were going to walk through the rest of the store or sit through the rest of the dinner with me latched on to their ears. that for some reason seemed to work
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 7:23 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • aw hun don't beat yourself up over this, yes your anger & embarrassment of your sons behavior got the best of you, but in some situations we run out of options & nature just takes over, but you realize what you did & I'm sure you wont do it again, Our children test us that's their nature.He could've gotten a bruise by rolling around on the floor, When your out with your son again try not to take what he does so serious BELIEVE me he's not the only child who ever acted out in public,look around I know you will see other children embarrassing their parents as well, He's 3 I'm sure it bothered you way more than it did anyone else, you'll never see those ppl again, God willing you'll see your little boy for a long time :) Let it go ~

    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 8:06 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • At a restaurant a child is required to sit for a longer period of time than at home. My 4 year old gets very bored after a while and I can completely relate to the behaviors you described. Some 4 year olds can sit for an hour in a restaurant and some can't.....mine can't. How I resolved it is by bringing a backpack of activities ie:books, coloring pages, sticker books, calculator to help keep him busy when he's done eating. My son is done eating in like 3 seconds so it makes for a long dinner without bordem busters!
    deedee3849

    Answer by deedee3849 at 10:03 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I know you didn't mean to hurt him..

    once my dad took me and my little son to a restaurant and my little son acted up just the same. My dad was upset but said to me. "Get up and get him in the car and leave me here to finish my meal" I did just that and then had a serious one on one talk with my little son in the car.... I remember being hungry, hoping my dad would bring our food in to-go things (he did)
    I felt like I did the right thing.

    he is 4 1/2 now and he continues to act up from time to time... I believe sometimes one spank is necessary.
    smilingontime

    Answer by smilingontime at 11:33 AM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I would just take him to the car and wait just like smilingontime said. My nephews used to act out terribly when we took them out to dinner. We told them if they didn't behave they wouldn't eat out. They like going out to eat. Last time we went out to eat they behaved beautifully.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 12:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • that doesn't make you a bad parent. WE have all done things like this.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

  • I would have taken him out to the car and let everyone else finish eating in peace and quiet. LOL... I am a bit of a stickler for rules. By dinner time, my 4 year old (who is delayed... he might be like a typical young 3 year old) is usually pretty tired and he sometimes acts up... if he does this, he gets one warning and then he goes up to his room. I will get him out after everyone else is done eating and let him finish.
    That said, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt him (and just because he bruised does not mean you hurt him... my boys bruise very easily and we don't use ANY physical punishment!)... He is fine... try to have a better day today! Big Hugs... don't be so hard on yourself!
    Mamaoftwingles

    Answer by Mamaoftwingles at 1:24 PM on Jan. 13, 2009

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